We all know the dating world is tricky. You have to balance your desire to really get to know someone with your desire to uphold your crush as the epitome of human perfection. Sometimes, you get a year into a relationship and realize you've completely misunderstood the other person. If only there were some way to understand the essential personality and character of a person before you begin seriously dating!
I believe I have the solution.
With one--that's right, one--question, you will be able to determine your compatibility with the person you are interested in. This question is as follows:
Can you please name for me five dragon breeds?
The answer to this question will tell you who your date truly is.
A non-nerd (or as society calls them, "a normal person") will say: "Dragons aren't real" or "Huh?" (they may also back away)
A nerd will say: Some ridiculous reference to a video game, Dungeons and Dragons, a comic book, or--heaven forbid--Eragon
A Harry Potter novice (a non-fan who has nonetheless enjoyed the books or movies) will say: "Um, I don't know, that big one that Harry fought? And the little one that caught Hagrid's beard on fire." (They might be able to come up with the names of these two breeds, but will not get all five)
A Harry Potter nerd will say (proudly): "Hungarian Horntail, Norwegian Ridgeback, Swedish Short-snout, Common Welsh Green aaaaand...CHINESE FIREBALL!"
An EXTREME Harry Potter nerd (also known as a fanatic, though they prefer the term enthusiasts) will say: "Ukrainian Ironbelly, Antipodean Opaleye, Hebridian Black, Peruvian Vipertooth, and Romanian Longhorn" (insert smug smile) They say all this purely to be facetious. I mean, anybody could say Hungarian Horntail. Only someone truly brilliant would know about Peruvian Vipertooths (Viperteeth?)
There you have it. The most important question to ask on your first date. May you always catch your Snitch.
(Okay, Harry Potter doesn't really have a good parting phrase. I mean, you have "May the force be with you" and "Live long and prosper" and "May the odds be ever in your favor" and "May the stars watch over you" and even "May a sparkly vampire guard you in your sleep." We need a good one for Harry Potter. And Lord of the Rings too, now that I'm thinking about it. All right, I have a new mission in life. Expect a follow-up blogpost.)
For now, I'll just leave you with a few words: Nitwit. Oddment. Blubber. Tweak.
Good luck on your date!
Emily <3
