The obituary of an introvert who lived happily and died young
Emily Hales finally succumbed to the weight of all of her responsibilities and collapsed from extreme stress on Tuesday, January 7, 2014, in the middle of The Universe newsroom. She later died in the hospital, surrounded by her loving roommates and coworkers, who gladly took the opportunity to escape their own demanding schedules and wish their friend goodbye.
Ms. Hales was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on June 19, 1993. Her early years were characterized by a love for books and animals and a disdain for real human contact. She preferred Beanie Babies to Barbies and could often be found wishing she were somewhere far, far away. As she grew, she became more tolerant of social interaction, but she never lost her passion for the written word.
She distinguished herself in high school as a member of the debate team and a standard in nearly every Advanced Placement class offered, graduating with a total 42 college credits due to AP exams. She had fond memories of her senior year of high school, which was her final year to feel academically superior to her classmates. She decided to attend Brigham Young University, where she learned that nearly everyone had graduated at the top of their class. Her love of reading and writing proved valuable in her chosen major of journalism, and eventually led to her receiving a job at the university’s newspaper, The Universe. All went well until the beginning of winter semester in her junior year, when she mistakenly believed that she could handle adult responsibilities.
Outside of school, Ms. Hales was a ravenous consumer of pop culture. She loved movies, music and television shows. Her favorite game was to watch a movie or TV show and gleefully yell out every other show or movie each actor had performed in. Few things gave her more pleasure than to discover an actor from her favorite nerdy movie series in a new show. She spent hours binge-watching shows on Netflix, but she never felt as though she was wasting anything. On the contrary, her only regret, she whispered to her friends, was that she never got to see the season three premiere of Sherlock.
Ms. Hales was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She served as the Sacrament Meeting chorister of her BYU singles’ ward, which she often described as her dream calling. After graduation, she was planning to go to law school, get a job at a publishing company or go backpacking through Europe. Though her early demise is unfortunate, she expressed relief that she’d never have to make the decision.
Emily is survived by her family, including her parents, her four younger siblings and her two cats, Harrison and Tora. A memorial service will be held in her home chapel in Burleson, TX, with a luncheon to follow. She requested that guests both bring flowers and make a sizeable donation to a new Kickstarter fund to convince the BBC to produce a new version of Pride and Prejudice with Benedict Cumberbatch as Mr. Darcy. In life and death, Emily always kept her priorities straight.
Funny, but sad haha.
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