Not a very revolutionary concept, am I right? And yet there seems to be this idea in our society that we as a species are entitled to...something. A date with an attractive individual? A high-paying job in the field you love? Happily ever after?
Let's be clear: We have a right to pursue happiness. We have the right to choose our own path. However, we do NOT have the right to expect everyone else to cater to our desires, nor do we have the right to expect that happiness and great opportunities are supposed to fall into our laps.
I bring this up because of the Elliot Rodgers thing, mainly, and because of some things I've heard recently from people in my own life and some things I've been feeling recently. Rodgers was a mentally disturbed young man who shot up the apartment complex where he lived in California because he was so mad at the world because he couldn't get a girlfriend.
Rodgers, in his twisted mind, truly believed that he deserved to have a girlfriend, and part of it was the way he was raised. He was a very spoiled child who received everything he ever wanted. He never had to work a day in his life, for anything. He simply had to ask and it was handed to him on a silver platter. Unfortunately, relationships don't work like that.
You have to put yourself out there. You can't say, "Oh, I like this person," then do nothing about it, then get mad when things don't work out the way you want. It's immature, it's rude, and it devalues the agency of others.
I repeat, no one owes you anything. Just as you have the right to pursue happiness, so does everyone else. And sometimes their happiness encroaches on your own. And we have to deal with it, because if we're not willing to make the effort, we don't deserve the reward.
Everything else in life is the same. If you don't put forth the effort to find professional success, you're not going to find it. So you have a college degree. So does everyone. We aren't special because you graduated from college. Congratulations: we did the bare minimum of what society and the economy demanded. We don't get to sit back and say, "Okay world, I did my part, now reward me." And it's really hard, I know! I'm not even 21 yet, and I'm completely burned out. I wake up every single morning and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. I hate it sometimes, and I always want to quit. I don't understand why what I've done so far isn't good enough. But I know that I need to keep going. I know that if I work really hard now, it will pay off in the end. I have my personal goals, and the only way I can achieve them is to make myself worth something.
Because hard work does pay off. It's the only thing that does, really. You don't get a free pass because you jumped through the hoops. You don't get a fairy tale romance because you're cute.
As a Latter-day Saint, I (and we as a church) believe that every single person has individual worth. We are all children of God. But the entire point of this life is progression. It's working hard and improving yourself. Nobody is born perfect, and nobody dies perfect, but if in the end you can die knowing that you tried your best to be the person you have the potential to be, then you've lived a successful life.
You don't get anything just for being alive. You can't find true happiness without taking risks and putting yourself out there. You know what, just pick your own metaphor. A shrub getting pruned? A clay pot going through a kiln? Lightning striking sand? The purpose of life is refinement, sometimes painful, scary, devastating, difficult refinement.
So we need to stop whining about how life isn't fair, how other people don't care about us (this includes me, I'm not just being patronizing.) Because you don't get to sit on your butt and expect everything to magically fall into place. Don't be like Elliot Rodgers. Don't assume that everyone else exists to serve you.
I therefore challenge us all to stop complaining about how society sucks and complaining how everyone else acts, and instead make it our goal to go out there and take what you want. Prove that you're worthy of the promotion or the trophy or the relationship. It's the only way you will ever deserve them.
Because nobody, nobody, owes you anything.
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