I Really Don't Have Anything To Say

Something terrible has happened to me. When summer began, I was all set to change my sleeping schedule back to one more appropriate for human existence. I tried to go to sleep earlier, and to wake up earlier. I set my phone alarm for 7 AM every morning. It started to work: I am now in bed no later than midnight every night (excepting the night of the Avengers. I went to sleep at 4 AM that night, which I believe is excusable considering the circumstances.) However, for the life of me, I cannot get up early! I wake up when my 7 o'clock alarm goes off, and doze until my 8 o'clock alarm goes off, then slip into another dream until I wake up of my own accord at 10. 

For a few days I got really angry at myself, and my lack of willpower, but then I realized what was wrong. I have nothing to do. No purpose. Without school, work, special projects, or even social activities during the day, I have to reason to get up in the morning. It's the weirdest feeling, and it set me on the road to another self-discovery: I always need a mission. I'd been used to thinking of myself as a go-with-the-flow kind of person, drifting through life on the road to some distant future goal--graduating college, getting a job, maybe having a family. But that's not true! Even if it's just a little thing, a minuscule goal like finishing a book series quickly, I need a purpose. Otherwise, I'll stay in bed all day watching movies. That is not an exaggeration. I'm actually embarrassed of how much time I've spent on Netflix the past two and a half weeks, but I've already made a goal to change it! The only shows I've watched today were the season finales of The Office and The Big Bang Theory, which I think is perfectly acceptable. The news is that Dwight might be getting his own spin-off show, meaning he would have to leave The Office, and that show cannot survive losing both Michael and Dwight, especially since the Jim-and-Pam storyline is so worn out, and there really isn't much else left for that show. Even Andy-and-Erin has been pretty much resolved. 

I watch too much TV.

So now that I know I need a purpose in life, and some goals, what are my plans for the summer?

-I'm going to visit my aunt Bonnie in Austin, since I really, really want to hang out with her down in the city, and see her apartment and her rooftop pool.

-I want to see the Avengers again, at least once (maybe more)

-I want to get a job by the end of the month

-I want to finish the Eragon book series. The last one, Inheritance, came out last year (I think) and I haven't read it because I couldn't remember anything that happened in the first three books. So I'm rereading. And let me tell you something--I don't actually like them very much. The writing style is really annoying, because it seems like Mr. Christopher Paolini sat with a thesaurus next to him the whole time he was writing, just to make himself look smarter. And there have been so many times when I finished reading a sentence and just groaned because of how pretentious he sounded. Also, they are the most blatantly atheist, hippie fantasy books I've ever read (I haven't read the Phillip Pullman books), which is irritating. Most fantasy books I've read either use pantheism, like in the ancient Mesopotamian and Celtic religions, since they usually take place during a medieval time, or don't worry about religion at all. Some, like the Lord of the Rings or the Chronicles of Narnia, use Christianity as the basic religion. Even Harry Potter, which stays away from religion despite its modern setting, states there is an afterlife, quotes the Bible, and uses some other, subtle Christian themes. I don't need Christianity to be present to enjoy a book series, but coupled by the air of know-it-all-ness possessed by the "intelligent" (aka atheist vegetarian hippie) characters and the pretentious author, the Eragon books just gets under my skin. Apparently, eating meat is bad because all lives are special, and since there isn't an afterlife we shouldn't do anything to shorten the lives of our fellow creatures, since this life is all we have. So no meat. Got it (hold on for a second while I grab a Slim Jim.) And there is no God, since how could a God let bad things happen? Forget human accountability, which would disappear if a God were to exist (universe forbid [see what I did there?]). Oh, and do you remember that one time in the 7th Harry Potter book when Hermione was teaching Harry and Ron about Horcruxes, and she said that if a body was killed, the soul would live on? According to the dragon Glaedr, "When the flesh is destroyed, so is the soul." 

And that is why Harry Potter is my favorite books series, and I'll just hurry up and finish the Inheritance cycle just so I can find out how it ends. The story is pretty good, even if it is stolen from every other epic fantasy and science fiction story ever, and all the characters talk like Shakespearean kings, even if they are illiterate farmers. But yeah, I'm gonna finish that series!!!!!

Where was I? Oh yeah, I have no life. It's no secret that I really don't like people (at all), but I'm almost starting to miss them. Almost. I went to my brother's NHS induction and nearly had a heart attack because there were TOO MANY PEOPLE. I hate being in the middle of crowds. I'm what you would call an "introvert." Social settings completely drain my energy. However, I did experience a moment a couple days ago when my phone buzzed and I got excited because I thought someone was texting me, but it was just a Facebook notification. I normally hate texting! I barely text at all, unless I need some information or I'm trying to get a guy to like me, but I was actually hoping that I'd gotten a text! That's how sad my life is right now. Say it with me everyone! "Poor Emily..."

Did you say it? Good!

Still, I'm glad I'm home. I love Texas, and once I have a real purpose again I'll be happier than a pig in a bog of mud. I thought about it, and as bored as I have been the past few days, I can honestly say that I am still thrilled that I'm not at school anymore. 

Even with my awful England dream. It was awful because it was so real, and so, so good. :( I want to go to Europe!!!!!!!!! And not really a study abroad program type-thing either, but a vacation! Sigh. Well, what's life without dreams? I gotta have something to look forward too!

I'm sorry that I don't really have much to write about. I can't really rant about boys anymore, because I'm expecting an almost completely boy-free summer. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it doesn't leave with much to write about! You know what I should do? I should start a movie review blog, where I talk about why the movies I see this summer are good or crappy. That will give me plenty of material to write about!! I'll think about it.

Still, I know you guys come to my blog to read all my sage advice about boys and dating (and by that, I mean you like to read about my strange attitudes toward romance and my dating mishaps, as I struggle to navigate this couple-filled world) so I have come up with a chart that I feel accurately describes my experience with boys. We talk about circles of friends, and we all have several: our best friends, our close friends, our necessary acquaintances, the people we tolerate, etc., etc. Well, I have drawn a Circle of Attraction for myself. Observe: 

Here's how it works: I make a guy friend, and usually the guys I hang out with are guys that I could find likable, in time. However, we usually become such good friends that he gets pushed into the Friendzone. Thus, the guys closest to me are Friendzoned. To find guys that I can actually like for an extended period of time, we have to skip over the Fiction-Reality Line to the world of fantasy, to my true loves: Mr. Darcy, Aragorn, and 2/3 of the Avengers, to name a few. If we wish to find guys who I can both like and be liked by (i.e. men I can marry), we must delve further into the realm of fantasy, almost to the point of the Wasteland of Delusion, where such men scrape out a meager existence in the dark corners of my best dreams. 

In other news, every time I see lightning, I become convinced that Thor is coming for me after all. One day...

And that is how I've spent my summer so far. 

Emily <3

The One Thing Everyone Needs to Stop Saying...and Happy May!!!

Hello, and welcome to the summer edition of My Princess Diary! I tried to change it up a little bit, since it does represent a new chapter in my life--my first summer as a college student! The color is different, the books have been replaced by palm trees, and Belle got some company. I hope you noticed that all three women are brilliant, beautiful, brunettes.

I know I promised to lay off the blog a bit, but the advent of summer doesn't mean my mind wanderings end. I still have things to say! So here we are, my first blog post of the summer time. What precious gems of wisdom will Emily bestow upon you today? What desperately important topics will she discuss with you?

Make-up.

Yep, make-up. I love the stuff, personally. Whenever I put it on, I feel like I'm an artist and my face is my canvas. Hopefully I look nice, and not like The Painted Lady (maybe three people who read this will get that reference), but I don't really care either way. Make-up is fun, and I like to wear it! But that's just my opinion, and explains the background of my argument.

Now, what has me thinking about make-up in a deep and analytical way? I'll tell you. I recently watched a clip from Good Morning America about a mom who puts make-up (eye shadow, blush, and lip gloss) on her four-year-old daughter on a regular basis. She calls it "mommy-daughter bonding time." Everyone on the show was highly critical of her parenting skills, saying four is way too young to start worrying about physical appearances, and that you don't need make-up to be pretty.

I agree wholeheartedly. When you're four, you don't need make-up, first of all, because you're already stinkin' cute with flawless skin, but, more importantly, you shouldn't be worrying about making yourself more attractive! I think it's quite weird.

However, the whole incident, including the comments of the GMA anchors, got me thinking about a little pet peeve of mine. People always say "You don't need make-up to be pretty!" "It's what's on the inside that counts!" "Everyone looks better natural!" The vast majority of young ladies and women wear make-up. It's just a fact. The question is, why? Why do women in our society feel like we need make-up to look pretty? Do we really think our natural faces are so hideous?

Maybe. But I don't think so.

Before I begin, let me give some disclaimers, so I don't insult anybody. These are my opinions about the importance of make-up, and you shouldn't feel threatened or put down by anything I'm saying. That's counterproductive. I want every girl to feel comfortable with her appearance, whatever she chooses to do. (Except I don't really like tattoos and lots of piercings. I do not endorse those, because they are self-destructive.)
The moral of this blog is take care of yourself and treat your body right. Does anyone disagree with these goals? Didn't think so. Let's get started!

There are two reasons for a woman to wear make-up. I believe that in either situation, making the comment "Girls look better without make-up" or "I prefer the natural look" is incredibly rude. If I had my way, they would never ever be uttered again. The two reasons women wear make-up are:
1) To look good for others.
We all want to appear attractive, especially to the opposite sex. For centuries, humans have used paints and dyes to modify their appearance and accent their most attractive qualities. Nowadays, temporary facial designs are reserved strictly for women (and certain flamboyant or depressed and disillusioned men). We wear mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow to highlight and enlarge our eyes, which are one of the most noticeable and attractive features. We wear blush to define our cheekbones. We use foundation and concealer to hide discolorations and blemishes which might be a biological sign of ill health or bad hygiene (or are just embarrassing). The point is, women go through a lot of trouble to make themselves look nice. And what's wrong with that? Make-up does not change your appearance (I'm talking about ordinary make-up application, not freaky stuff.) It doesn't make you a better person or change your inherent attractiveness. It just enhances your physical features. Putting on make-up is just like wearing flattering clothes and styling your hair: a tool to show that you are proud of who you are and want to be the best and most attractive person you can be.
Guys, (and girls who put down other girls for wearing make-up because they think that looking nice is stupid) girls who put on make-up to look good for others put a lot of time and effort into making their physical features the best they can be. Would you rather a girl show up for a date dressed in ragged sweatpants, with straggly hair and puffy face? Or would you prefer a girl who took the time to make herself look nice for you? I find it so incredibly rude whenever guys, or girls for that matter, say that make-up is useless. Let me tell you this: you actually haven't seen very many girls with the "natural" look. Nearly every young adult female wears make-up, even if it's just a little concealer and mascara. Appreciate what we do. We're just trying to show that we care about ourselves enough to put some time and effort into making ourselves shine (physically) so you should care about us too.

2) To look good for ourselves
Now, here's the part I really feel strongly about. I don't think we, as human beings, should look nice for other's pleasure. Yes, it is important to look appealing in order to attract a mate (because I cannot emphasize enough, PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. DO NOT DATE/MARRY SOMEONE YOU THINK IS UGLY. It's not shallow. Everyone has different ideas on what makes a person beautiful, so regardless of social conventions, do not settle for a person you are not attracted to. I really think it's common sense...), but it's more important for YOU to be comfortable with who YOU are. And that includes taking care of yourself! Look, our bodies our wonderful, amazing gifts from God. We always talk about "inner beauty" and developing your talents, but I think it's just as important to recognize that our bodies need to be treated just as well as our spirits. They're a part of who we are, and we have a responsibility to them. That includes exercising, eating right, and also making yourself look nice. Be proud of your body, whatever kind of body you have! Spend some time on yourself! Having a clean and pleasant appearance is extremely important for Mormons. That's why we have such strict grooming standards at BYU. So why not wear make-up? It doesn't take very long, it won't distract you from more important duties, and it shows that you value yourself enough to put in the extra time! If you don't believe me, and you think I'm shallow and image obsessed, don't take my word for it!
-My roommate, who works at the Missionary Training Center, told me that they told the sister missionaries to spend more time getting ready in the morning, and bought them all some make-up.
-One mother in the October 1994 Ensign said that, even though her job didn't require dressing professionally or being all made up, she "avoids dressing sloppily. Wearing a touch of lipstick or a dab of perfume helps me have a positive attitude."
-Coco Chanel, who revolutionized the fashion world for women, said "I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little bit, if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, that might be the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny."

Most importantly, I once asked, "Why do I even bother trying to dress up, or look nice?!" and my grandpa reminded me, "It's for your self-esteem." That is so true. When I put on make-up and do my hair, I feel like I can take on the world. I don't need to worry about what other's think. I want to be as pretty as I can be, without jeopardizing my soul, because I am worth it. I'm a daughter of God, and he gave me this body to treasure as a temple and gift. Our temples are absolutely gorgeous, and we spend a great deal of time making them beautiful. Why don't we give our bodies the same treatment?

So, if you wear make-up for yourself, because it gives you a boost of self-esteem, it's crushing when someone tells you they prefer girls without make-up. Or that make-up is evil, and unnecessary. To that I say, how dare you. How DARE you tell me how to look. How dare you think that you are the ultimate authority on my physical appearance. This is my face, and I know what looks good. I want to look in the mirror and be pleased with my reflection. Is there anyone out there who likes feeling gross and unattractive? If putting on a little make-up boosts a person's confidence, because they are happy with themselves, what on earth makes anyone else think they can say otherwise? Even if you do like girls with completely unmade-up faces, shut your fat mouth and keep your opinions to yourself. They aren't looking nice for you. They're looking nice because they like looking nice.

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Two important notes before I wrap, to clarify my point.

First, I'm not saying you have to wear make-up if you're a girl. I'm saying that if you do, you shouldn't be penalized or insulted. Feel free to do whatever makes you happy. Some girls honestly don't need or like make-up, and that's great. The most important thing is to take care of yourself, and be comfortable with who you are. I'm comfortable with make-up. I feel pretty and confident when I wear make-up. Do others even notice if I wear make-up? Probably not. I probably don't look any different. But I feel different, which is all that matters.

Second, I'm definitely not telling anyone to sacrifice personality for looks, or dedicate tons of time to improving your physical appearance. Make sure to have balance between your spirit and your body. They are both a part of who you are. The goal is to be beautiful inside and out. And yes, I believe every girl can be beautiful, and every guy can be handsome. It doesn't mean that they're super model-hot to everyone, but that they are happy with who they are and what they look like. That they take care of themselves. That they feel attractive and important. 

And honestly, what's more attractive than a person who is confident and comfortable with who they are?

Striving every day to be beautiful inside and out, and wishing you the best on your mortal journey,

Emily <3