I know I promised to lay off the blog a bit, but the advent of summer doesn't mean my mind wanderings end. I still have things to say! So here we are, my first blog post of the summer time. What precious gems of wisdom will Emily bestow upon you today? What desperately important topics will she discuss with you?
Make-up.
Yep, make-up. I love the stuff, personally. Whenever I put it on, I feel like I'm an artist and my face is my canvas. Hopefully I look nice, and not like The Painted Lady (maybe three people who read this will get that reference), but I don't really care either way. Make-up is fun, and I like to wear it! But that's just my opinion, and explains the background of my argument.
Now, what has me thinking about make-up in a deep and analytical way? I'll tell you. I recently watched a clip from Good Morning America about a mom who puts make-up (eye shadow, blush, and lip gloss) on her four-year-old daughter on a regular basis. She calls it "mommy-daughter bonding time." Everyone on the show was highly critical of her parenting skills, saying four is way too young to start worrying about physical appearances, and that you don't need make-up to be pretty.
I agree wholeheartedly. When you're four, you don't need make-up, first of all, because you're already stinkin' cute with flawless skin, but, more importantly, you shouldn't be worrying about making yourself more attractive! I think it's quite weird.
However, the whole incident, including the comments of the GMA anchors, got me thinking about a little pet peeve of mine. People always say "You don't need make-up to be pretty!" "It's what's on the inside that counts!" "Everyone looks better natural!" The vast majority of young ladies and women wear make-up. It's just a fact. The question is, why? Why do women in our society feel like we need make-up to look pretty? Do we really think our natural faces are so hideous?
Maybe. But I don't think so.
Before I begin, let me give some disclaimers, so I don't insult anybody. These are my opinions about the importance of make-up, and you shouldn't feel threatened or put down by anything I'm saying. That's counterproductive. I want every girl to feel comfortable with her appearance, whatever she chooses to do. (Except I don't really like tattoos and lots of piercings. I do not endorse those, because they are self-destructive.)
The moral of this blog is take care of yourself and treat your body right. Does anyone disagree with these goals? Didn't think so. Let's get started!
There are two reasons for a woman to wear make-up. I believe that in either situation, making the comment "Girls look better without make-up" or "I prefer the natural look" is incredibly rude. If I had my way, they would never ever be uttered again. The two reasons women wear make-up are:
1) To look good for others.
We all want to appear attractive, especially to the opposite sex. For centuries, humans have used paints and dyes to modify their appearance and accent their most attractive qualities. Nowadays, temporary facial designs are reserved strictly for women (and certain flamboyant or depressed and disillusioned men). We wear mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow to highlight and enlarge our eyes, which are one of the most noticeable and attractive features. We wear blush to define our cheekbones. We use foundation and concealer to hide discolorations and blemishes which might be a biological sign of ill health or bad hygiene (or are just embarrassing). The point is, women go through a lot of trouble to make themselves look nice. And what's wrong with that? Make-up does not change your appearance (I'm talking about ordinary make-up application, not freaky stuff.) It doesn't make you a better person or change your inherent attractiveness. It just enhances your physical features. Putting on make-up is just like wearing flattering clothes and styling your hair: a tool to show that you are proud of who you are and want to be the best and most attractive person you can be.
Guys, (and girls who put down other girls for wearing make-up because they think that looking nice is stupid) girls who put on make-up to look good for others put a lot of time and effort into making their physical features the best they can be. Would you rather a girl show up for a date dressed in ragged sweatpants, with straggly hair and puffy face? Or would you prefer a girl who took the time to make herself look nice for you? I find it so incredibly rude whenever guys, or girls for that matter, say that make-up is useless. Let me tell you this: you actually haven't seen very many girls with the "natural" look. Nearly every young adult female wears make-up, even if it's just a little concealer and mascara. Appreciate what we do. We're just trying to show that we care about ourselves enough to put some time and effort into making ourselves shine (physically) so you should care about us too.
2) To look good for ourselves
Now, here's the part I really feel strongly about. I don't think we, as human beings, should look nice for other's pleasure. Yes, it is important to look appealing in order to attract a mate (because I cannot emphasize enough, PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. DO NOT DATE/MARRY SOMEONE YOU THINK IS UGLY. It's not shallow. Everyone has different ideas on what makes a person beautiful, so regardless of social conventions, do not settle for a person you are not attracted to. I really think it's common sense...), but it's more important for YOU to be comfortable with who YOU are. And that includes taking care of yourself! Look, our bodies our wonderful, amazing gifts from God. We always talk about "inner beauty" and developing your talents, but I think it's just as important to recognize that our bodies need to be treated just as well as our spirits. They're a part of who we are, and we have a responsibility to them. That includes exercising, eating right, and also making yourself look nice. Be proud of your body, whatever kind of body you have! Spend some time on yourself! Having a clean and pleasant appearance is extremely important for Mormons. That's why we have such strict grooming standards at BYU. So why not wear make-up? It doesn't take very long, it won't distract you from more important duties, and it shows that you value yourself enough to put in the extra time! If you don't believe me, and you think I'm shallow and image obsessed, don't take my word for it!
-My roommate, who works at the Missionary Training Center, told me that they told the sister missionaries to spend more time getting ready in the morning, and bought them all some make-up.
-One mother in the October 1994 Ensign said that, even though her job didn't require dressing professionally or being all made up, she "avoids dressing sloppily. Wearing a touch of lipstick or a dab of perfume helps me have a positive attitude."
-Coco Chanel, who revolutionized the fashion world for women, said "I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little bit, if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, that might be the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny."
Most importantly, I once asked, "Why do I even bother trying to dress up, or look nice?!" and my grandpa reminded me, "It's for your self-esteem." That is so true. When I put on make-up and do my hair, I feel like I can take on the world. I don't need to worry about what other's think. I want to be as pretty as I can be, without jeopardizing my soul, because I am worth it. I'm a daughter of God, and he gave me this body to treasure as a temple and gift. Our temples are absolutely gorgeous, and we spend a great deal of time making them beautiful. Why don't we give our bodies the same treatment?
So, if you wear make-up for yourself, because it gives you a boost of self-esteem, it's crushing when someone tells you they prefer girls without make-up. Or that make-up is evil, and unnecessary. To that I say, how dare you. How DARE you tell me how to look. How dare you think that you are the ultimate authority on my physical appearance. This is my face, and I know what looks good. I want to look in the mirror and be pleased with my reflection. Is there anyone out there who likes feeling gross and unattractive? If putting on a little make-up boosts a person's confidence, because they are happy with themselves, what on earth makes anyone else think they can say otherwise? Even if you do like girls with completely unmade-up faces, shut your fat mouth and keep your opinions to yourself. They aren't looking nice for you. They're looking nice because they like looking nice.
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Two important notes before I wrap, to clarify my point.
First, I'm not saying you have to wear make-up if you're a girl. I'm saying that if you do, you shouldn't be penalized or insulted. Feel free to do whatever makes you happy. Some girls honestly don't need or like make-up, and that's great. The most important thing is to take care of yourself, and be comfortable with who you are. I'm comfortable with make-up. I feel pretty and confident when I wear make-up. Do others even notice if I wear make-up? Probably not. I probably don't look any different. But I feel different, which is all that matters.
Second, I'm definitely not telling anyone to sacrifice personality for looks, or dedicate tons of time to improving your physical appearance. Make sure to have balance between your spirit and your body. They are both a part of who you are. The goal is to be beautiful inside and out. And yes, I believe every girl can be beautiful, and every guy can be handsome. It doesn't mean that they're super model-hot to everyone, but that they are happy with who they are and what they look like. That they take care of themselves. That they feel attractive and important.
And honestly, what's more attractive than a person who is confident and comfortable with who they are?
Striving every day to be beautiful inside and out, and wishing you the best on your mortal journey,
Emily <3
Hey, thanks for this post, Emily. It's the most incredible thing-- almost every time I read your blog I find myself thinking, "Wow. I've never consciously thought about that, but I totally agree." You've got a talent for expressing yourself. Thanks :)
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