CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I made it through my first semester of college and through finals week. And now that all of that crap is over, it's officially CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Christmas is my very favorite time of the year. Something about the lights, and the Christmas music playing everywhere, and the Christmas specials on TV, and the smell of pine trees...I don't know. Christmas is just magical. 

Luckily for me, this year, I get to have TWO Christmases. Why? Because my friends are super cool, that's why. Super cool, or super weird, depending on how you look at it. Let me tell you about my first Christmas this year. 

So the group of friends that makes up my "family" (see last post) decided that since we weren't going to see each other over Christmas break, we should have our own Christmas celebration, since we're so close and stuff. And that's what we did. My guy friends decorated their apartment, complete with lights and a tree and candles (electric candles. We aren't allowed to have real fire in the apartments) and stockings for all of us. We drew names for Secret Santa, and put the gifts under the tree. On "Christmas Eve," we had a big, fancy dinner. The boys cooked a ham and made some stuffing, I made some Chicken Enchilada Soup (it was really, really good. Hey, this is my blog. I can't lie to you), and Kelley and Courtney cooked some yummy potato wedges. The whole time we had some soft Christmas music It was a fantastic meal. Afterwards, we read Biblical Christmas story and had some pie. We finished off the night by watching Miracle on 34th Street in the basement in front of a roaring campfire. 

The next morning (ok, it was actually noon. We don't really do stuff in the mornings), we had Christmas. We were all wearing our pajamas and ugly Christmas sweaters. I looked completely disgusting, which is normally how I feel on Christmas. Christmas is one of the those days where you don't give a rat's fart about about how you look. At least, it is for me. Anyway, Tyler made peppermint milkshakes, which I heard were really good, but didn't actually try because I wanted a cinnamon bun and I can only eat so much sweet stuff at one time. The stockings were all sitting on the couch, stuffed full of treats from "Santa." (My friends are awesome.) We gathered around the couch and took a family picture, to immortalize the moment. Then, it was present time. You can see the pictures on Facebook. Some of the presents were meaningful (by that I mean that Kelley gave Ryan a cheese grater. Inside joke). Some of the presents were played with for the rest of the day (Tyler got a bow and arrows). Some of the presents were exactly what the receiver wanted (Nic gave Pete a lava lamp). A great time was had by all. After the presents were all exchanged, somehow we got on the topic of Christmas cards. Because we're a "family," and because we were all delirious and drunk on Christmas spirit (not to be confused with Christmas spirits, which they don't have a great supply of at BYU), we decided to make our own Christmas cards, to send to our family. Using the picture we'd just taken, Nic designed a lovely card that we printed on real photo paper. It looked very professional. That was all well and good, but then we had to go and write a family Christmas letter. This was a five-page beautiful disaster that seemed like a good idea at the time, but when we woke up from our Christmas delusion and realized that we'd sent a five-page letter that wouldn't make sense to anybody but ourselves to our families, we couldn't believe what we'd done. In the words of my mother, "It was great. Now all your parents have something to show your future husbands and wives on your wedding days." Yeah. We basically confirmed our parents' belief that we're completely insane. Not sure how we're all going to live that one down. 

Oh I forgot to mention how we sent the letters. A group of us walked up to the Wilkinson Center and went down to the post office in the basement. Of course, we were still wearing our pajamas and various other accessories. I had a Santa hat, Tyler was wearing a cape, Courtney was wearing boxer shorts with Animal the Muppets' face on them (that was her present), and Mike was wearing a very interesting sweater. (Again, see the pictures). I'm sure we must have freaked out some of the other people in the building, but it was fun. Acting like a freak is fun, once in a while. Or all the time.

And so that was my first Christmas.            

Now I'm going home. Home to my mama's cooking and my daddy's "Christmas Schedule" that always includes four hours of singing Christmas carols and not opening presents til 8 PM. Home to my baby kitties, who probably won't remember me. Home to my fantastic non-Mormon friends, who I've really missed. I know that, because I'm a stupid teenager, I'll probably start missing BYU and my "family" in less than a week, but all I can think right now is HASTA LEVISTA, PROVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BYU is an incredible school. I'm so glad I go there.

Christmas is a magical holiday. I'm so glad I get two.

I love marshmallows, Netflix, Neil Patrick Harris, and my grandma's pets. 

My next post will be fun. Stay tuned!

I love you all, and Merry Christmas.

Emily <3

My BYU Family

You know how they say when you go to BYU the people in your ward become like your real brothers and sisters? It's not that simple.

It all started when Tyler and Monica and I started getting super close. We felt like family! Monica has a very maternal bent, so she became Tyler's mother. Tyler was called to be the FHE dad for his group (which is not my group), and since I'm a bit immature, I became his daughter. The FHE mom for my group is my roommate Lindsay, and after Tyler proposed to her, she became his wife, and my real mother. Our other friend, Blake, is also Tyler and Lindsay's child. Tyler's old friend from Texas, Brianne, had long been called the mother of their group, and so when we met her, she and Monica agreed to be co-moms.
Recap so far: Monica is Tyler's mother, and my grandmother. Tyler is my father, and Lindsay is my and Blake's birth mother. Blake is my brother. We don't know who Tyler's father is. His other, adoptive, mother is Brianne.
BUT WAIT.
Tyler is also married to the FHE mom for his group, Sheryl. His roommate Peter is also in his group, and so is their son.
Recap: Tyler has two wives, and three children.
BUT WAIT.
Tyler started dating-for-real Courtney (btw that's the serious relationship I was talking about in my dating post), making her his third wife. Together, they are the parents of Tyler's other four roommates, Nic, Josh, Dayne, and Ryan. Courtney is also married to her roommate, Kelley.
Recap: Tyler has three wives, and eight children.
BUT WAIT.
Lindsay is ALSO married to her for-real FHE husband, other Tyler, aka TTyler (the extra T is for extra talent). This is where things get really, really complicated, because that makes TTyler the father to both me and Monica. We aren't sure which Tyler is my real birth father, probably single-T Tyler, but they both raised me. If Tyler was my father, Monica is my grandma. If TTyler is my father, Monica is my sister.
Recap: Tyler is married to three women, and his wife Courtney is married to a fourth. Lindsay is married to both Tylers. She has two children, and is unsure of which Tyler fathered them. Tyler and Sheryl have one child, Pete. Tyler and Courtney have four children, and I believe Kelley and Courtney are soon to adopt a child. Monica is Tyler's mother, and TTyler is her father. This makes Lindsay Monica's stepmom, making Lindsay both my mom and step-great-grandma.
BUT WAIT.
Monica's origins are ambiguous. TTyler is her father, but no one knows who her mother is. What happened next is this. Earlier in the year, one of the apartments in the guy's dorm had taken to calling one of their roommates, Jeff, "dad", because he is apparently very paternal. They also called their RA, Bryant, "mom", because that's basically what RA's are. One day, Monica asked Jeff if she could call him dad too, and he agreed, thus adding himself to our crazy family tree. He is still the father of his apartment-mates, and Bryant is the "mother" of his apartment-mates, as well as Jeff's apartment-mates, as well as Monica.
Recap: Bryant and Jeff are the parents of Monica and TTyler, because TTyler is one of Bryant's apartment-mates. The two of them have a total of nine children. They are Tyler's grandparents, and my great-grandparents. All of their children are my uncles, except for TTyler, who is my father (maybe) and Monica, who is my grandmother (or possibly sister, if TTyler is my real father.) Tyler is married to Bryant and Jeff's daughter-in-law.
BUT WAIT.
A couple of days ago, Courtney's roommates were added to the family. Tia and her boyfriend are Courtney's grandparents, and Beth and her boyfriend are Courtney's parents. It is basically the only line on the tree that makes any sense whatsoever. Actually, I take that back. It all makes sense. Here's the story.

Bryant and Jeff adopted eight sons: Bryce, Ty, Nathan, Nathan, Michael, TTyler, Stephen, Murphy, and Rob. TTyler had a child (Monica) at a young age, but the mother left and we don't know who she is. TTyler was unprepared for fatherhood, so gave his child to his parents (Bryant and Jeff) to raise. Thus her biological grandparents became her for-all-intents-and-purposes parents, and her uncles became her brothers. She, like her father, also had a child at a young age (Tyler). We are likewise currently unaware of his other parent. Monica gave him up for adoption to Brianne, but re-entered Tyler's life several years later. Upon reaching adulthood, Tyler participated in an arranged marriage with Sheryl, which resulted in one son. He then married Lindsay, who was already married to TTyler (so he married his step-grandmother). Lindsay had two children, but we haven't figured out who fathered whom. We do believe that Tyler is my father, and TTyler is Blake's father. Possibly. In physical appearances, that seems to be the case, but we aren't sure. In any case, I'm Tyler's favorite child (fact). Tyler then married Courtney, and they had four children. Courtney then married Kelley, and they haven't had any children, but are considering adopting a son. I think that about sums it up. We have four generations in our family, with a bit of overlap with Monica and TTyler. I hope this answers all the questions you have about our family tree!
(The family tree is in my pictures on Facebook.)

Holiday Season

It's here guys. My absolute favorite time of year. There's just something about Christmas that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Now that the other holiday is over, there are no more excuses. It is officially Christmas time, and I'm ready. 

But back to that "other holiday." You guys know what I'm talking about. It happens once a year, in the last week of November.  It's a chance for all the citizens of this country to show their appreciation for all the great opportunities we have. 

That's right. I'm talking about Black Friday.

For the past month, every time I've tried to watch TV, I've been bombarded by commercial after commercial advertising all of the fantastic Black Friday sales.  The idea of Black Friday is terrifying enough by itself, even without the sense of doom I feel for the human race as I take in the idiotic portrayals of American consumers in the commercials. Step back and think about it for a second: millions of people spend the entire weekend in a fight to the death to get their hands on cheaply priced material garbage that they don't need. People form battle plans, camp out in front of stores. When the stores open, shoppers fight and claw their way to the front of the line, using whatever means necessary to obtain the fancy piece of technology that they just can't live without. People pepper spray fellow shoppers. They knock each other over, trample others into the ground. People die on Black Friday. It's like that beginning battle in the Hunger Games, when all of the combatants are trying to get supplies out of the cornucopia thing, except the Black Friday shoppers aren't fighting for their survival. They're fighting to get more stuff. 

That's all Black Friday is, a chance for people to get new stuff to replace the old stuff that they've grown tired of. Now I'm the first to defend and support the American capitalist system, but the degree of sheer materialism surrounding Black Friday is disgusting. Whatever it's noble origins-helping the economy, helping the stores to get rid of excess merchandise and turn a real profit, allowing the consumers to make important purchases at a low cost-the trouble people will go through to buy a few items is sickening. It's just shopping, guys. The things you're buying? They are just that, things! You're just going to replace them next year, when you repeat the cycle. People DIE during Black Friday sales. Does no one else see a problem with this?

Sure, Black Friday is great if money is tight and you really, really need to get a new fridge, or cheap clothes. I understand. I love sales! I love shopping! What I don't love is insanity. The rampant consumerism of Black Friday (and it's infant sister, Cyber Monday) has all but eclipsed Thanksgiving. All of you people who were complaining about Christmas taking over Thanksgiving, look around you. You ask someone, "What was your favorite part of Thanksgiving?" and half the time they'll say "Black Friday shopping!" The one time a year people are actually thankful for what they have, and it's been completely eclipsed by consumerism and greed.

I'm going to keep singing my Christmas songs, thank you very much. 

Sorry about this, I know this didn't live up to my last blog post, which apparently was well-liked. My family home evening dad, Tyler (not to be confused with the other Tyler, who isn't in my FHE group but is still my father, according to our very screwed up family tree), went so far as to come up to my apartment to talk to me about my blog, and my feelings on various aspects of the BYU dating world. It made my day. Anyway, the Black Friday thing was bugging me all week, and I just needed to rant about it. I mean, there I am, just trying to watch my Friends marathon, and every ten minutes I had to endure crap like this:

Woman shopper to other woman shopper: "Look, it's Doris! She's a Black Friday living legend. She even named her kid 'Black Friday'." Garbage.

But it's all over now, and I actually had a fantastic Thanksgiving Break. I told everyone that I was going to sleep, eat, and watch TV, and that's exactly what I did. I would stay up all night watching Friends (my new obsession), sleep in until one in the afternoon, stumble upstairs, and eat some delicious meal prepared by my wonderful grandmother. It was the most relaxing and beautiful Thanksgiving Break I've ever had. 

The best part?

It's Christmas time now :)

Here's hoping that everyone has a flipping awesome Christmas season.

Love you!

Emily <3

Mating Season

This is a post I've wanted to write for a while, since I think it's so funny and fascinating, but I didn't want to come off sounding whiney or desperate. I'm in a good place now, so I think I can reflect on this interesting phenomenon without making anyone think I'm bitter.

Yes, I'm talking about dating at BYU.

As I arrived on BYU campus, I was immediately assaulted by visions of heavenly glory I'd never before seen in real life. After years of spending my weekends at debate tournaments (where dating opportunities aren't easy to find), after the never-ending procession of fourteen-year-old boys asking me to dance, suddenly I was surrounded by thousands of gorgeous guys MY AGE OR OLDER. No more would I revel in the looks on the freshman boys faces as I announced, "I'm 18!" No more would I have to ask brazenly personal questions to drag some semblance of intelligent communication out of my dance partner. I was the young one again. And these guys walking around campus? They are good-looking. They are nice. The best feeling in the world is when some random guy opens the door for you. If I were Julie Andrews, I'd include it in my "Favorite Things" song. Just the other day, Monica and I were walking home from the Creamery, struggling to lug home all of the food we needed to make it to the Millennium (or next week), when two perfect strangers asked us if we needed help. They took all of our bags and carried them home for us. Chivalry is alive, guys, or at least it is at BYU.

But enough of that. Let me tell all you folks at home what exactly BYU dating is like. Or, at least, my personal interpretation of dating. Let me start with a quick glossary though, so that what I'm saying actually makes sense:

Dating: going on dates, which is a separate activity from
Going out: Being boyfriend and girlfriend
NCMO: non-commital make-out. Pretty self-explanatory. Kind of like what Harry was trying to do with        Cho until she started to cry and he felt obliged to ask her on a date
DTR: define the relationship. The super-awkward talk you have with the person you like to make sure
they feel the same way
Dear John: the letter every missionary loves to get, where their girlfriend back home breaks up with them, usually to get married to another guy.
RM: a young man, fresh off his mission, on the prowl for an eternal companion

As far as I see it, there are two types of dating: 1) Fun dates, where you ask out every girl you know just for the joy of hanging out with new people and 2) Serious dates, where you are going out with someone you like in the hopes of forming a relationship. Each is worthwhile in its own way. My roommate, Lindsay, is the perfect example of a participant of the first type. She goes on dates every weekend. I thinks she's done just about every imaginable date activity, from going to concerts to having water-color painting contests. From the stories she tells, the dates are fun, but they don't mean anything. Some people love that. They love going on silly dates where everyone has a good time and there isn't a question of commitment. My good friend Susan told me before we came to BYU that she just couldn't wait to start going to cheesy dates.

Serious dating is a bit more like the "worldly" dating that was the norm every other place I've ever lived. You like someone, and they like you, you talk a bit, hang out a bit, and BAM! true love. Ok not really. But these are the dates that mean something. Where you're spending time with the person because there isn't anybody else you'd rather be with. And then you start holding hands, and cuddling, and maybe kissing, and then you have a DTR and you're a couple! Serious is dating is so much more adorable than fun dating, in my opinion.

Personally, I'm not into "fun dates". If I go on a date with someone, I want it to mean something. Maybe it's because of the circumstances I was raised in. My church friends and school friends never coincided. For non-Mormons, when someone asks you on a date, it means they like you. All of my Mormon friends and acquaintances, however, told me again and again "it's ok to go on a date with someone you don't like! Just have fun!" I can't do it. Movies, books, and my friends have ingrained in me the idea that a date is a romantic situation. Luckily for those who feel the same way, serious dating does exist at BYU, even among freshman! Of course, you have to keep in mind that this guy that you're so attracted to is going to leave you in a couple months, to go on a mission. And thus, the NCMO is born. I'm assuming that anyone reading this blog is familiar with the concept of a non-commital make-out. Whenever I think of NCMO's, I think of that scene at the end of the first Spider-Man. You know, where Peter Parker and Mary Jane are in the cemetery, and he kisses her, and then tells her that they can't be together and walks away. Ouch. On the other hand, a NCMO is much less painful than the alternative if you try and force commitment: the infamous Dear John. Best Two Years, anyone? Now that I'm here at BYU, developing close friendships with some guys and falling head over heels for others, I realize that two years is a really long time. When these guys get back, I'm going to be a completely different person. That's why dating, for me, seems so pointless right now. Sure, if you love those cheesy dates, go for it! Have an awesome time! But I want to like a guy, and have him like me back. Unfortunately, no matter how much I like a guy and want to be with him, he has a job to do. And I've accepted it. I have fun with my friends. I have fun with my "baby crushes," as I call them. Maybe next year some ridiculously amazing RM will come in and sweep me off my feet. We can elope in the Provo Temple. Ok, that's a bit far-fetched, even more my imagination, but the point I'm trying to get at is that all of the stereotypes at BYU are completely, utterly, 100% true. Just not for me. And I'm happy with that* :)

Next year, all of that will change. You see, freshman year you have the principle of "catch and release". All the guys are leaving, so you know that unless you move super fast, no real, lasting relationships are going to form. Next year, when all my guy friends are gone, I'll have to start hanging out with RM's. And RM's have been commanded to multiply and replenish the earth. Yikes. So, I'm guessing sophomore year will be very different! Oh the joys of Mormon college.

This was just a very brief survey of the world of dating at BYU. I'm sure there's so much else going on, so many intricacies and subtleties that I haven't experienced or heard about, but I hope this proved interesting and entertaining.

Peace and blessings, y'all, peace and blessings! <3 Emily

*Disclaimer: I do have a social life. I promise.

Weekend Report

This weekend was CRAZY. How crazy, you ask? Well, whenever I hear the song "Last Friday Night" by Katy Perry, I can only think "My Friday nights are so much more fun than this!"
Ok, no, I don't go absolutely insane and wreak havoc on the community (although there are occasional noise complaints) but I still wouldn't trade weekends with her for anything.

This Friday started off with a trip to a cute Halloween village with my aunt and uncle, and a barbecue at my grandma's house. I don't usually feel homesick when I'm at school, but as soon as I step into my grandma's house and remember how nice it was living there for two weeks, I never want to leave. There's free food, a huge TV, tons of movies and books, animals, and of course, my loving family. So yeah, family time was fun. When I got back, a group of us went to a nerd dance. Ironically, I didn't have time to dress up, so although I was the nerdiest person in the group, I looked the most normal. The dance was pretty fun. We stayed there for a couple of hours, but then they played a bad song so we left (aren't you proud of us???)
After the dance, the rest of the night is kind of a blur. We went to Del Taco, as always, and we kind of wandered around campus for a couple of hours. All I know is that around 4 o'clock we ended up in a field by the dorms, waiting for a meteor shower. There was really only one shooting star worth mentioning, but it was enough. It completely lit up the sky, it's tail trailing far behind it. It was so incredible. We stayed outside for a couple more hours, but didn't see anything to top it. However, just because we were done watching the shooting stars didn't mean that we were done with nature. You see, in front of our building are a couple of huge bushes. Courtney, one of our really good friends, had decided to dive into the bush a couple weeks before, and apparently it was really fun. Monica had also taken a dive into a bush, but that one was accidental and not nearly as enjoyable. Several of us decided to take Courtney's approach, and although I was wounded, it was worth it. I got a scratch across my cheek (my "battle scar") and thanks to the magic of make-up you couldn't really tell it was there. It's healing now, but I'm a little disappointed. It was a sign of my successful bush dive. Around 7, we wandered down to Helaman Halls and visited a friend of mine and Monica's from back home. There were eight of us, and we were the most pathetic group. I was wearing my Snuggie over my coat, Monica was in her pajamas, Blake was wrapped in a blanket, and Tyler was wearing blue BYU spirit hair and my purse. We came back home and had breakfast together at 8, which we decided was the start of Saturday. Everything before that had been Friday. By this point, we were a mess. Tyler had an intramural volleyball game, and Monica, Mike (another guy friend, who is awesome), Courtney, and I went to watch. Monica line-judged, and the rest of us were cheerleaders. It was so much fun. We bugged the heck out of everyone else in the gym. Tyler's team lost (I think it was my fault. I swear I'm a bad luck charm. I have never seen his team win a game. The only games they've won are the ones I haven't been to) but it was still a blast, mostly because we were so delirious. Saturday is a blur as well. I spent the whole day in the boys' apartment. I slept for like 45 minutes on their couch (while they were all trying to get ready for cleaning checks) and stayed there the rest of the day; eating ice cream, working on my Sunday School lesson, and I don't even know what else. Somehow seven hours passed. Saturday night, I saw Captain America with some people at work. It was a sign of how sleep-deprived I was that I started dozing off during the movie. Yes, Chris Evans as Captain America was on the screen, and I fell asleep. I'm so ashamed.

Friday and Saturday were basically the same day, but Saturday night I got a full seven hours of sleep. And I took a four hour nap after church. My lesson in Sunday School was extremely sub-standard, but it doesn't matter because the whole class sleeps anyway. Oh, the joys of having 8:30 church in a Single Adult Ward in college. I don't know what the stake was thinking. Anyway, we sang "Come Thou Fount" in Sacrament Meeting, and it sounded really good. It was Parent's Weekend, so there were some families in the congregation, and I'm glad they got to hear us sing such a beautiful song. Nothing else of importance happened on Sunday until the nighttime. Our guy friends cooked dinner for our whole apartment. It was pancakes and eggs. While they were making it, they realized "Hey, Emily doesn't like breakfast food," and they made me an alternate meal. It was so nice. Then they decided if they were catering to my diva-like taste in food they might as well go all out, so they pulled in a nice chair from the lobby and made me a place setting, so that everyone knew where my spot was. The place card said "HM Emily Hales, DDS, Esquire" (Yes, I am a queen, a dentist, and a gentleman.) They even put a lettuce-leaf garnish on my plate. I, of course, loved every minute of it. I really should work on my self-esteem issues. I either feel completely horrible about myself, or I'm ridiculously vain and arrogant. But I digress. I got to be princess for the evening, and it was fabulous.

Monday isn't really part of the weekend, but I'm going to talk about it right now anyway. For FHE, we had a ward talent show. Have I mentioned how amazing my friends are? I think I need to give a detailed description of them all one day, just so you know how lucky I am. Courtney and Mike both had hilarious performances. Courtney and her roommates did an extremely deep and inspirational poetry reading of "The Foot Book," by the great sage Dr. Seuss, and Mike performed the classic "Yeah Toast." Look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about. Tyler and his roommate Nic thrilled Monica and I very greatly with a singing duet, so much so that we made them give us a private encore performance in their kitchen.  Then we had an intellectual discussion about human nature for our Anthropology class, and then I had to go to work.

Today, so far, we had a pretty cool devotional by Senator Joe Lieberman. The best part was that Elders Cook and Perry came too, and we got to see Lieberman chatting with our apostles before he started speaking. So many celebrities all in one room! BYU is a pretty wonderful place.

That brings us up to speed. I don't know what I'll talk about next. We'll see! Is there anything in particular about my life at BYU that you would like to know about?

It's called "Heritage" for a reason

Here's a funny story: I was in my room one night at the beginning of the year, when I hear a knock at the door. Monica opens it, and I hear a guy's voice saying "Are all your roommates here? Get them all out here." I go out into the hallway, and two guys I've never seen before are standing in the doorway. One is super excited about something, and the other is kind of hanging back. The super excited one says "You guys live in the coolest apartment on campus? Do you want to know why? Sixty years ago, my grandma lived in that room right there, and while she was living here she met her husband, my grandpa. Last year, we had a really good friend who lived in that room, and he got married while living there too! Whoever lives in that room is getting married this year!"

What can be learned from this story? 1) One of my apartment-mates is getting married this year (the room in question was the middle room, which is not the one I live in. Thank goodness) 2) There are no boundaries between strangers at BYU and 3) My building is so OLD!!!!!

60 years ago my apartment was bringing people together, and it was probably old and disgusting back then. It's quite funny how run-down they are, especially compared to New Heritage (which used to be Deseret Towers) and Wyview (which used to be married housing). The appliances are the worst. My microwave is incapable of popping a bag of popcorn. One night Monica and I were eating dinner with another apartment, and their stove caught on fire. It spontaneously burst into flame. They put it out with a fire extinguisher, and since a fire extinguisher only has one use before it has to be replaced, when the stove caught on fire again a week or two later they had to use wet rags to put it out. Another apartment in my building had a stove fire as well. Since the beginning of the school year our bathtub drain didn't work, which meant that if you wanted to use that shower, you had to be prepared to take a mud bath as well. Our other shower is reminiscent of the showers in a locker room, which is not what you want to come home to after work. THANKFULLY maintenance came yesterday and fixed the drain, so I got to take a REAL shower last night. It was so beautiful.

Despite all the issues and general grossness of my dorm, I would not want to live anywhere else. I love love love having a kitchen, and my own little apartment. I'm close to everything on campus. We also have the prettiest outdoor scenery.

Here's another story: During New Student Orientation, they had a big party at the Wilkinson Center, including a performance by BYU's DIVINE COMEDY (have you looked them up yet?), and Monica and I were going over. We took a wrong turn, and ended up walking by the guy building from our ward (our ward is made up of two girls dorms and one guy dorm) just as three guys were walking out. Monica and I were like, "Hey we're from your ward!" and they said "Cool, walk with us!"We asked where they were from, and one of the guys, Tyler, replied “Texas.” With that fatal word, our fate was sealed. Monica and I were so excited to find someone else from Texas, we started talking solely to him, and ignoring the other guys (but we became friends with them later.) The three of us went to the Divine Comedy show together, and hung out a couple more times that week, along with another guy we met (at a sanctioned church get-to-know-you thing) named Blake (who is in to all the same books and Monica me), but the ultimate test of friendship came the first Friday night, at the Carnival. It was kind of a lame thing, but they had two blow-up bounce-house slides and a Tea-Cup Ride. Oh, the tea-cup ride, or as it’s really called, the “Exciting Tubs of Fun”. It is the most horrific and exhilarating ride I’ve been on in my life. That was the bonding moment. We-a group of about 9 people-went on it twice, and felt so sick afterwards. We then went to play hide and seek in the Tanner building, but we felt too awful to play for long, so we went back to the boys apartment and watched Psych, in an ingenious way. Monica and I couldn’t actually go into the apartment because it was past 12, and we couldn’t watch Netflix in the lobby, so we put the laptop on a table in the apartment and pulled a couch up to the door, so we weren’t breaking either rule! Over the last two months, the four of us have just grown closer and closer. Tyler frequently refers to our kitchen as “his” kitchen, which houses “his” couch. He and Blake are always over. At least one of them is always still there when I leave for work. We have other friends too, like Tyler’s roommates, but these guys are our brothers (the actual family relationships we’ve worked out are more complicated, and much weirder, so lets just say that we’re all brothers and sisters). In fact, we’re going to watch an opera tonight in the Fine Arts Center! There’s always so much to do here.  

Side note: Tyler was upset that I didn’t mention him by name in my last post, so hopefully he’s happy now (also, were there enough digressions in this post?). 

Quick test update: My Book of Mormon teacher dropped a question on the test, so I’m going to have like a 97!!! I made a B on my Humanities test, and a 95 on my Greek and Roman Literature test. And I have no more tests for a while!

Emily <3

A Brief Summary of the Last Two Months

Obviously I'm not going to go into detail about every activity I've done while I've been up here, but I can start off with a little overview of the basic status of my life right now. I live in Heritage Halls, in an apartment with 5 other girls. My "room" roommate is one of my best friends from back home, Monica. We take care of each other, drive each other nuts, and basically have the time of our lives. It was a struggle the first week or two to make friends and be social, since I'm a rather small and quiet person, but thanks in large part to Monica's outgoingness we have a really good group of friends. BYU is a phenomenal school. There's always so much to do, the classes are interesting, and the people are hilarious. It is so weird being surrounded by so many Mormons. I feel almost corrupt compared to some of these kids! My parents told me I'd be shocked by how bad Mormon kids could be, but so far I haven't come across it. Maybe it's because I'm a freshman living right on campus. On the whole, though, I'm afraid to say that all of the stereotypes of BYU are exactly right. Everyone looks the same, everyone is intelligent, and many, many people are obsessed with dating and/or getting married. When you're walking on campus and you see an attractive person, you have to look over them twice: once to note their appearance, and again to check for a wedding ring.

There is so much I can say already about the uniqueness of BYU, but I don't want to ramble on and on right away. Essentially, everyone here is nerdy. Everyone loves Harry Potter, everyone loves Disney (my friends and I regularly break into Mulan-quoting sessions) and everyone is intelligent. The average high school GPA for incoming freshman this year was a 3.8, which is what I had. That's right, folks, I'm average. Whatever shall I do?

BYU, and college in general, has a reputation of overwhelming the students with fun activities. I would like to inform you that this is absolutely true. There are:
-Carnivals
-Dances (I've only been to two, but I think a dance is going on somewhere every weekend)
-Sporting events (football, volleyball, and soccer are the most popular. I haven't been to a soccer game)
-Music performances (one of my friends is in Men's Chorus, so we watch them sing often)
-Divine Comedy shows (look them up on YouTube if you haven't yet. Do it now)
-And, of course, the random things my friends and I do at unholy hours of the night. I've decided that, despite what various Young Women's leaders, bishops, and parents have preached, the Holy Ghost actually goes to bed at 3:30 AM.

To get the best idea of my current life, I'll give you my basic schedule:
Monday: Wake up at 8 AM, go to Book of Mormon at 9, Anthropology at 10, and Greek and Roman Lit at 11. I have no more classes today, so I go home and take a nap, do some homework, shop at the Creamery, watch TV, etc. Then it's FHE at 7, some more homework, and work at 10.
Tuesday: Wake up at 9 AM, get ready for the day (Tuesdays and Thursdays are my cute days), go to the devotional at 11. Then it's English class at 12:05, and homework until 4:35 when my Humanities class starts. The class ends at 6, and I do various activities until work.
Wednesday: Same as Monday, only without FHE
Thursday: Same as Tuesday, only I get to sleep in longer because there isn't a devotional
Friday: The best day of the week. I don't have Book of Mormon, so I get to sleep in a little bit longer. Anthropology is in a lab setting, with a TA, so it's a smaller class and we do fun things. Like watch Pocahontas. At 12, Monica and I, and two of our guy friends, always have lunch together. It's a tradition. Then I usually lay around until 7 or 8, when the fun begins, unless there's a football game. The last two Fridays I've gone to dances, which were very fun. Since it's always a mixture of guys and girls, we have to stop hanging out in our dorm buildings at 1:30, so we take to the streets. We used to just hang out outside on the grass for hours, but it's too cold for that now, so we usually walk to Del Taco. It's the only time I ever leave campus, and we always go there because nowhere else is open that late (early?)
Saturday: It just passes in a haze of tiredness. Monica watches football all day, I pop in and out, do some laundry, maybe work on homework, go over my Sunday school lesson. If there's a Saturday game I go to that, then Del Taco again, and for the past two Saturdays we've gone to the bell tower and sat and talked for hours and hours.
Sunday: Wake up about 8, hurriedly get ready for Relief Society at 8:30. I got there on time this Sunday! That doesn't often happen. Every other week I have to teach Sunday School (joy), which means I'll be teaching this Sunday. Sunday's are lazy days. At 8:30 we have ward prayer, then some people come over and we work on homework together, and then it's time for work.

That is the core structure of my life. I can't wait to start telling you guys all the details. For instance, today I took a Book of Mormon test, and I made a 94! I was so thrilled! I also took a 3 hour nap. That was beautiful. Now this post has gone on long enough, and I'd better study for my Humanities test tomorrow. TTYL!!!!!

Emily <3

PS-Coming soon: The joys of living in the oldest dorms on campus

I got a blog!

So, I made a blog.
The concept of a blog is so fascinating. It's basically an online diary that the whole world can read. Since I love to write, and talk, and rant, and post things on the Internet, it's surprising that I never made one before now.
Before you make fun of the title of this blog, let me explain myself. I wanted to come up with a name that encompasses a majority of the facets of my personality: my bloated ego, my obsession with children's entertainment, and my love of writing/talking about myself and the fun things that happen in the world.
The world really is a very funny place, when you stop to think about it.
But we'll save that for later...

Even though, hopefully, you already know me, let me indulge myself a little bit by sharing some info with you. This blog will mainly be about my experiences at BYU Provo--the most interesting college in the world. I am a freshman, in my second month. I know I should've started my blog right when I started school, but I am the queen of procrastination. I must confess, I am a nerd. Everything about me screams "This girl does not conform to social norms! She reads books for fun! And would watch a Disney movie over a chick flick any day!" But I'm ok with that. I like who I am, social awkwardness and all.
The most important things to know about me are 1) I love Harry Potter more than just about anything 2) I love my cats, and miss them very much. Hopefully I won't end up the crazy old cat lady all the neighbor kids terrorize, but it's still up in the air. 3) I really do enjoy being with people, and I really do love my family. I promise. 4) I make many, many references to entertainment. Finally, and most importantly, 5) I seriously love BYU. I am having so much fun it's ridiculous. Oh, and I'm learning lots of great stuff too. Yeah, college pretty much rocks, and I'll explain why in great detail right here in this blog.

I hope everyone finds my thoughts enlightening, or at least entertaining. It's 2 AM, I just got home from work, and I have stuff to do (like sleeping. Maybe.) so I will start posting the first of many, many fantastic stories tomorrow. Have fun, and try not to judge me! ;)