A billion points to anyone who gets that reference.
Although it is possible to be a happy single girl by yourself, life is always better when you have friends. Single Ladies need other Single Ladies to party with, because only other Single Ladies understand what it's like to be a Single Lady.
I have Single Lady friends here at school, I have them at work, I have them at home...just a bunch of girls trying to help each other survive in a world dominated by happy couples.
Here's what I did this weekend:
No I did not get married! Haven't you been paying attention? A friend from work and I went and visited Salt Lake. We both needed to get out of the BYU-bubble. Just a couple of Single Ladies, walking around the outdoor mall, and doing a couple of Mormon-y touristy things. Speaking of Single Ladies, those sister missionaries around Temple Square are TENACIOUS. We toured the Beehive House, which is the house where Brigham Young lived and worked after the Mormons moved to Utah, and at the end, the missionaries who took us through desperately tried to get some names from us for people they could call. One even asked us to pull out our cell phones and give her some numbers! Don't get me wrong, I love and the gospel and I love the church, but is it too much to ask to let me just enjoy a nice spiritual and historical experience and at cool place without being guilted into siccing bored sister missionaries in Salt Lake on my friends? Geez.
(Okay I sounded really cynical just there, and I need to do my part to build the kingdom, I know, I know. Still, they make me feel like a bad Mormon! I'm a good Mormon! Any questions my Mormon friends have about the church, they come to me! Or look it up themselves. Again, geez!)
Oh, backing up a bit, Friday night I went with two female friends to see DIVINE COMEDY!!!! They are so awesome. Seriously the funniest people I've ever seen. Here's the story: On Monday at 11:45, I went to go buy seven tickets (note the odd number) for my friends and I. The tickets went on sale at 8 that morning. By the time I got there, there was ONE left. That's right, one. A more insecure or dating-obsessed person would balk, but I bought that last ticket, because I knew no one else on campus would. I was fine with going by myself. Divine Comedy is hilarious no matter who you're with. But then, some things happened...and nearly all of the couples in our little group dissolved. So if I had been able to get all seven tickets, it would have been two recently broken up couples, a guy and his date, and me. Fun, right? And then, something amazing happened. One of the newly singled girls in this little group was able to score two tickets from an actual member of Divine Comedy, and I didn't go by myself after all! It just goes to show, if you take a risk, things will work themselves out. Life is good :)
After DC Monica and I got Abduction, starring an EXTREMELY attractive Taylor Lautner, from RedBox. That was very enjoyable, as you can imagine (winky face).
So back to Saturday, after the lovely Salt Lake adventure, (I want to live in a big city so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait for summer. Gah) I attended a Pride and Prejudice watching party with another Single Lady friend. I love that movie so freaking much. In case you didn't know, the first sentence of this post was a paraphrase of the opening sentence of the P&P book. The version we watched tonight was the Keira Knightley, Matthew Macfadyen one. That one's my favorite. In the words of Jane Austen, who is one of my heroes (see last blog post) the story is "light and bright and sparkling" which is why Single Ladies throughout the ages have loved it. It gives us hope that there's a Mr. Darcy or a Mr. Bingley out there somewhere for all of us. You see, one cause of Single Lady-hood is their inability to accept the truth that the guys in chick flicks are not real. They're what we want guys to be like: all manly and caring and perfect. The problem is, real guys can't read girl's minds, like they do in the movies. And guys who are total jerks don't magically change. The guys in chick flicks are essentially girls with testosterone and ridiculously defined pectorals and abdominals. But I digress. P&P is a perfect story. Very few girls dislike it. And how could you not like it? To prove my point, I'm going to leave with some of the very best quotes from my favorite version of the movie.
Lizzy: "Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony, which is why I will die an old maid."
Lizzy: "If every man does not end the evening in love with you, I am a poor judge of beauty!"
Jane: "Or of men."
Lizzy: "No, no they are far too easy to judge!"
Darcy: "I have struggled in vain and can bear it no longer...I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand."
Darcy: "Might I ask why, with so little endeavor at civility, I am thus repulsed?"
Lizzy: "And I might as well enquire why, with so evident a design of insulting me, you chose to tell me you liked me against your better judgement!"
Lizzy: "And these are the words of a gentleman! From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others, made me realize you are the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry!"
Mary: "What are men compared to rocks and mountains."
Lizzy: "Men are all either eaten up with arrogance or stupidity."
Charlotte: "We are all fools in love."
Darcy: "What endearments am I allowed?"
Lizzy: "Hmm...let me see. Lizzy, for everyday. My Pearl, for Sundays...and Goddess Divine, but only on very special occasions."
And the absolute best one, that makes all Single Ladies go AWWWWWWW!!!!!
Darcy: "You must know, surely you must know, it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope, as I had scarcely allowed myself to hope before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but a word from you will silence me for ever. *short pause, followed by excited intake of breath* If, however, they have changed, I have to tell you you've bewitched me, body and soul (awwww!!!!) and I love, I love, I love you.
Sniff, sniff. I love this movie. Mr. Darcy is my soulmate. If only he were real...your homework: go watch the movie (technically BBC miniseries) Lost in Austen, and then report back to me, explaining in full detail how the writers of the show stalked me and exploited my fantasies.
Life's what you make it, so let's make it rock (negative 5 million points to those who understand this one)
Emily <3
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