The Movies in Our Future

Okay so I just got back from watching the Hunger Games. If you know anything about me, you know that I won't be leaving my room for a couple of days. I know they aren't real, and I know that feeling this way is really immature, and a bit psychotic, but I honestly feel sick to my stomach right now. It's like when I was developing as a child, I somehow mixed up my view of reality and fantasy. Real life trauma, pain, and suffering? Yes, it's sad, but I don't feel connected to it. Trauma, pain, and suffering on a screen or on a page? Intense sobbing, and the inability to function in a social environment for several days. So if just start randomly crying during the next few days, you know why.

Honestly, the Hunger Games series is so amazing. Because of my fantasy/reality conundrum, I both love and hate dystopian future novels. The movie was fantastically done. I get so emotional because it is so good. It really touches me, and that a writer can do that is so incredible. Suzanne Collins, you break my heart and cause me severe emotional stress over and over, but you're just so darn good at it!

I'm not going to give a detailed list of all the things I loved about the movie, or all the parts where I cried (there are many). Instead, I'm going to talk about the trailers that played before the movie, and how freaking excited I am for some of them:

1) Snow White and the Huntsmen: Okay, from the trailer, I can tell that there is going to be a butt load of special effects, and that I'm going to wince every time Kristen Stewart comes on the screen. The poor dear just can't act. However, Charlize Theron looks like she's going to make an AMAZING evil queen, and Chris Hemsworth will of course be kicking butt and looking super hot. (Speaking of the Hemsworths, my absolute favorite part of the movie was when Katniss kissed Peeta, and somebody in the audience yelled "TEAM GALE!" Gale was played by Chris's little brother, Liam. They have an older brother Luke, but he's not as famous. I mean, the little brothers literally look like gods, and he...doesn't, exactly.) Anyway, fantasy/fairy tale world mixed with epic war to stop tyranny.
Will I see this? Yes.

2) Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter: When the trailer starts, you see Abraham Lincoln talking about how history won't remember anything he did before he was president, even though those were his most important accomplishments. For the next couple of minutes we are shown a young Abe hurling axes around, jumping down burning mountainsides, and throwing people around in slow motion. When we are finally told the name of the movie, the entire theater bursts into laughter. Yes, my friends. This summer, you must decide if you are a Patriot or a Vampire. If you a vampire, then Abraham Lincoln will kill you. Because that's what he does. Though a bit ridiculous, it does look kind of cool. Abraham Lincoln was pretty awesome. And the actor who plays him as a young man looks kind of hot. So there you go.
Will I see this? Maybe

3) The Avengers: Speaking of my boy Chris, the biggest movie of the summer (even though it technically comes out in Spring) will include his return as the valiant and generously-muscled god Thor, who will be joining several other hot men as they attempt to stop Thor's evil step-brother, Loki, from destroying the Earth. Featuring a power struggle between the Thor, who was raised to be a king, Iron Man, who already believes that he rules the world (and is a billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist), and Captain America, who hates bullies, no matter where they're from, the Avengers will be sure to be freaking awesome. I am so, so, so excited.
Will I see this? Uh, heck yes. Is that even a question?

They're just so awesome

4) What To Expect When You're Expecting: Let's move away from the action movies for a second. When I first heard of this movie, I thought "They're making a movie about a self-help book for pregnant mothers?" Yes, my mother owns this book. Yes, in my unstoppable quest to read every book in the world I may have even cracked it open. But the movie focuses on several couples who are about to have babies, and their trials and joys. One young man is urged by his wife to spend time with a group of young fathers, to learn second-hand all the wonders of parenthood, in order to prepare him for the big moment. "It's like Fight Club, only there's no fighting, and they all have babies."  The movie looks hilarious, although it may scare new mothers away from letting their husbands watch the baby. Just remember guys, No Judging.
Will I see this? Yes, as long as it isn't rated R.


5) Dark Shadows: A human-turned-vampire, put to rest in the 1800's, wakes up in 1972 to find his descendants still living in his old home, and it great economic distress. It's a Tim Burton movie, starring Johnny Depp and featuring Helena Bonham Carter (of course). Really, what else is there to say? It's going to be full of freakishly funny morbid humor, against the backdrop of seventies culture. Everyone knows what Tim Burton movies are like.
Will I see this? Doubt it.


6) Breaking Dawn Part 2: Jacob--"You still look like you." Edward--"We're the same temperature now." Kristen Stewart returns to her breakout role as the socially and emotionally unstable Bella Swan Cullen, but this time, she's supposed to be pale and cold. Yes, folks, she is now a vampire. The trailer features a scene where she is stalking a deer, watching it hungrily with her blood-red eyes. Bella's transformation appears to be the focus, instead of the HALF-VAMPIRE BABY that tore it's way through her uterus in the last part, or the big confrontation at the end. I guess they don't really need to do a real trailer, since anyone who cares already knows what happens, and the filmmakers want certain visual things to be a surprise. So for right now, we get confirmation that, yes, Bella can finally drink blood with the rest of the gang.
Will I see this? At some point. I still haven't seen the first half


7) The Host: Speaking of Stephenie Meyer's fantasy world, the powers that be (in Hollywood) are making a movie of her "sci-fi for people who hate sci-fi" book The Host. It was supposed to be a series, but since she doesn't need to write anything ever again, it probably won't happen. Anyway, it was just a teaser trailer saying how the world was perfect now, and showing a bunch of people with silver eyes. I liked the book, so the movie might be good. We'll see
Will I see this? Yes


Those are all the trailers! Not all of them are coming out this summer, or even this year, so here are a couple of movies in the near future that I am super excited about!

Mirror Mirror: As if a TV show and action movie based on Snow White weren't enough, now we have a comedy! Julia Roberts (love her) is the evil queen, the girl who played SJ's sister on The Blind Side is Snow, the dwarf from Pirates of the Caribbean is...well, a dwarf, and some cutie I've never seen before is the Prince. Like the other recent Snow White's, she's a fighter, ready to take down the queen. What is up with all this fairy-tale feminism recently?

The Amazing Spider-man: Since the last three Spider-man movies weren't all that great, THEY have decided to put a new spin on the favorite Superhero tale. The adorable Andrew Garfield is a high school-age Peter, and the lovely Emma Stone is his love interest, Gwen. (Tobey Maguire and Kiersten Dunst are out of here!!!!) According to my comic book-fan friends, it's going to be more aligned with the original mythology than that Other series was. It looks really good!

The Dark Knight Rises: More superhero goodness. Our vigilante friend returns in the finale to Christopher Nolan's interpretation of the Batman myth. It's probably going to be really scary, and people are going to die, but I have faith that Christian Bale will save the day (and hopefully take off his shirt.) That is, as long as Anne Hathaway doesn't get in the way. I'm sorry, I don't care how many naughty, sexy roles she takes, she's always going to be a princess. Just like Amy Adams. Accept it girls!

Madagascar 3: I know some people think the Madagascar story is already too stretched out, but the next movie looks really funny! Come on, Dreamworks movies are always good! Okay, Shrek 3 was kind of dumb (except for when the princesses stormed the castle [more feminism]), so maybe this movie is going to be dumb too. Am I still going to see it in theaters? Of course!

Brave: The newest Disney/Pixar movie, it stars a ginger Scottish princess, ready to take on the world. I'm not even sure what the plot is, but it's Pixar, and like Toy Story 3 and Wall-E, it's coming out right around my birthday. Happy Birthday to me! I love Disney.

The Hobbit: It's not a summer movie, I know, but OH MY GOSH I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! I LOVE THE HOBBIT AND THE LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all.

I'm glad everyone loved the Hunger Games. I'll come out of my room for church tomorrow.
Emily <3