Happy Birthday!

Today is a very special day. It is the birthday of someone who has long been one of my heroes. For years, she has stood by my side as I traversed the perils of this life. She represents the ideal woman: a mixture of beauty and intelligence, strength and compassion, and above all an unwavering dedication to integrity and righteousness. Her existence has made the world a better place, because she encourages young women everywhere to trust their minds, and never back down from what they know is right.

This woman is Hermione Granger.

Okay I know she's a fictional character and doesn't actually exist. But since when do fictional characters have no impact on reality? Thousands of nerdy little girls have found a role model in the character of Hermione. Any girl who has ever felt out of place amongst her more feminine peers, who has ever spent her summer reading giant books, who has ever stressed about a major essay only to receive a near perfect grade, can relate to Hermione. The girls who have been barred from answering questions in class because the other students need a chance to speak, the girls who have been accused of being "know-it-alls," the girls who always religiously followed the rules in school, who were occasionally teased for being teachers' pets, these are the girls who adored Hermione. JK Rowling gave us plenty of strong heroines, but come on. Hermione basically saved the world. Harry may have been the Chosen One, but he would have been dead meat without the help of "the cleverest witch of her age."

In honor of her birthday, I've come up with a list of little-known facts and cool pieces of info about our favorite bushy-haired, large-toothed, Muggle-born. Thanks, Jo, for giving the world this character. And thank you, Hermione, for keeping those boys in line.

1. Her middle name is Jean
2. Rowling was originally going to give her the last name of "Puckle" before she realized that it's a stupid name
3. She was one of the oldest students in her year at Hogwarts, since she turned twelve 18 days after she started her first year (kids weren't allowed to go to Hogwarts unless they were already 11)
4. Her Patronus is an otter, which is JK Rowling's favorite animal
5. When she was fourteen, her greatest fear was that she would fail her classes
6. She once made 112 points on a test
7. She translated the book The Tales of Beedle the Bard (a Harry Potter companion novel that includes notes from Dumbledore) from the original Ancient Runes
8. She came up with the idea for Dumbledore's Army
9. She first said Voldemort's name (an action used throughout the story to symbolize courage and the defiance of ignorance and evil) during her fifth year
10. Her future husband had a very public relationship with her roommate when they were in school (which must have made things very tense in the dormitory)
11. She has an enormous and grumpy cat named Crookshanks (because cats are the best)
12. The only things she isn't good at are wizard chess, Quidditch, cooking, seeing the future, and drawing
13. Despite knowing next to nothing about sports, the only guys she dated were all good Quidditch players

14. She punched the little snot Draco Malfoy right in the face
15. She worked for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement
16. She was the only one at Hogwarts to figure out what was attacking the students her second year
17. Her confidence and sarcastic personality hide her deep-seated insecurities about not being good enough, but she still totally saved the world
18. She has an amazing amount of empathy, as shown by her defense of house-elves and Buckbeak the Hippogriff, but unfortunately her logic and skepticism sometimes override her concern (see Lavender Brown dead-bunny fiasco)
19. One time, her hand shot up in the air so fast to answer a question that she almost knocked Harry's glasses off
20. From book three, it was obvious she was going to end up with Ron, because they are the second-best couple of all time, right behind Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy (although I was way happier when these two got together, since I had been waiting for it for seven years)

And the greatest moment of my life so far came when I was reading the seventh book. I started down page 625, and all of sudden I realized that the world as I knew it had changed forever. I slowed down and read this over and over, drinking in every word:

"Hang on a moment!" said Ron sharply. "We've forgotten someone!"
"Who?" asked Hermione.
"The house-elves, they'll all be down in the kitchen, won't they?"
"You mean we ought to get them fighting?" asked Harry.
"No," said Ron seriously, "I mean we should tell them to get out. We don't want anymore Dobbies, do we? We can't order them to die for us--"
There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione's arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.
"Is this the moment?" Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except that Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. "OI! There's a war going on here!"
Ron and Hermione broke apart, their arms still around each other.
"I know mate," said Ron, who looked as though he had recently been hit on the back of the head with a Bludger, "so it's now or never, isn't it?"

Possibly the best scene in the entire history of literature.

I love Harry Potter, and I love Hermione Granger. She never pretended to be something she wasn't, even when she was mocked and teased and abused. She is a hero.

Feminists are always going on about how we need more strong female role models in works of fiction. Here we have Ginny, Luna, Tonks, Mrs. Weasley, Minerva McGonagall, and Lily Potter. We have Hermione Granger. Seriously, what more could you ask for?

Potterhead for life.
Emily <3

Sharing the Wealth

As much as I like writing my own blog, I do also appreciate a phenomenal blog post written by somebody else. This is one of those phenomenal blog posts because it is SO TRUE. Also, it was written by my roommate, it's about dating, and random words are Capitalized, turning them into Proper Nouns for Emphasis. A rhetorical tool of which I am particularly fond. 

Now without further ado, read Monica's blog post in her blog JUNGLE ADVENTURES.

The Game 

(I just lost)

Emily <3

Reflection

As I was going through the Dallas Lovefield and Las Vegas airports a few weeks ago, I had a lot of time to myself. As is usual for me, I spent the time reflecting deeply on the nature of humanity and our unique American identity. As these philosophical thoughts were so stirring, I felt compelled to share them with you.

I was on the plane, listening to music, when "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan started playing. I was happily listening to what is one of my favorite Disney songs, when I started thinking about what makes it so great. Even my little brother, who generally shuns all Disney music for fear of appearing a feminine-movie-lover, loves this song.  If he loves this song, EVERYONE must love this song. Which is funny, as I am a girl, and so many people who love this song are girls, and yet we cheerfully sing to each other "BE A MAN!!!" It's just so powerful and inspiring, you know? It's like a call to action for the world at large, to stand up and fight for themselves. If you think I'm taking a song from a cartoon movie too seriously, just wait until you see what conclusion I drew next.

The chorus says, "We must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon." The first three goals make sense. If you're a guy going off to defend your country against the physical manifestation of evil, you want to be fast, forceful, and strong. But mysterious? I guess they were Chinese so maybe they also learned ninja skills. I don't know. Anyway, in my deep, life-altering meditations on the plane, I thought about how maybe we, as a culture, could apply this admonition to our own life. People aren't mysterious anymore. Many, many people, such as yours truly, put their entire lives on the Internet. Facebook, Twitter, blogs...it is so easy to find out information about people these days. The art of being mysterious is nearly dead. Which is a bad thing, because it's exciting to find out stuff about people as you get to know them better. It's also fun to Facebook stalk. But apparently Facebook stalking is bad. Go figure.

Then again, let's look at EVERY SINGLE CLASS I'm in this semester, where at some point the professor has said "Turn to someone you don't know and get to know them!" as if true and lasting friendships always blossom from a three-minute conversation that inevitably goes like this:

"Hi, I'm Emily."
"Hi, I'm a girl who is basically you but taller and with different colored skinny pants."
"Where are you from?"
"Boise. You?"
"Texas."
"Oh! I have a cousin/sister-in-law/long-lost EFY roommate who lives in Keller! Do you know where that is?"
"Yes!" (Silently thinking, Have I heard the name? Yes. Do I have any idea where it's actually located? Nope.) "So what's your major?"
"Exercise science. Yours?"
"Journalism."
"Oh how cool!"
****silence****
"Has it not been three minutes yet?"
"I guess not. Boy am I tired!"
"Oh how crazy, me too!"

Basically your entire identity at BYU, at least when meeting classmates, is confined to three things: Name, hometown, and major. Since my home state tells you almost nothing about me, and my major only a little more, I guess we still maintain a bit of mystery when we're meeting these random people who have to take the same classes as us. For me, the trite and meaningless conversation is much better than the "getting to know you" question of my younger days: "What do you do?"

I DON'T DO ANYTHING! I DON'T PLAY SPORTS OR ANY INSTRUMENTS AND I'VE NEVER CLIMBED MOUNT EVEREST OR WRESTLED WITH A GIANT SQUID!!! I'M JUST ME AND IF THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH YOU CAN LEAVE RIGHT NOW MISTER!

Yes. It's good to be mysterious.

The second thing I reflected on is the American need for space (unless you're in New York.) We stand far apart while talking. We like having our separate couch cushions to sit on (unless you're cramming a ton of people into a tiny apartment to watch a movie.) On an airplane, the middle seat is always left open. I took three separate flights to get back to Utah this year, and I only sat next to someone once. That was because every other aisle and window seat on the plane was filled. We like having a personal bubble. Many of us hate unnecessary touching. If we accidentally brush against somebody while walking, we apologize for the contact. Of course, there's always the odd person who loves being close (physically close) to other people. Like my sister, for instance. When we're watching TV in our media room, she has difficulty keeping her arms and legs and body to herself. Despite the fact that we have two long couches, two big armchairs, and enough pillows to make the floor a beautiful place to sit, she will inevitably choose to sit where someone is already sitting. I don't like being sat on. I don't like it one bit.

Unless it's my cat. My cat can sit on me whenever he wants. Cats don't really have a concept of personal space. But it's okay because they're fluffy and adorable.

Last thing: the toilets in the Las Vegas airport. I noticed something very odd about them. Instead of having one lever or button to flush, there were two. That's right, two buttons. One with a picture of one drop of water, and the other with a picture of three drops of water. After being confused for a minute as to why there were two flushing mechanisms, I suddenly realized that I was looking at a Toilet of the Future. You could choose how much water you wanted to use while flushing! If you wished to conserve water and thus do your part to save the planet, you pushed the button with one drop of water. If you needed to use more water to insure the flushing *ahem* did its job, you pushed the button with the three drops of water. How ingenious! I can't wait to see what they come up with next to give us a more personalized bathroom experience.

Ooh, I heard that in Japan they have toilets you can plug an iPod into. But why not have a row of button along the tank with a set selection of songs? There can be a song for every genre so you can appropriately set the mood for your bathroom experience. Sounds like a winning idea to me.

Now that you've all been so kind as to read the long and rambling thinks I think when I'm traveling by myself, I'll share one last fun insight with you. I've been in school for two weeks, and so you will probably be wondering how my love life is doing. Have I met any cute boys? Will there be a ring in my near future? I could answer these questions, but I know a great song that will do the job better than I ever could. Pay very close attention to the first line.

(There's not an actual music video. Sorry)

Single lady problems. For real.

Thanks for reading!

Emily <3

First Day of School

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome one and all to My! Princess! Diary!!!!!!!!!! I took quite a hiatus during the summer months because, basically, nothing happened. But now I'm back at school, and when you're surrounded by a bunch of new faces and new ideas, there's always something to write about. Let's start by talking about what is going on in my life!

I think the easiest way to sum up my life the past few days is to make a chart listing all the good and bad things that happened or are happening.

Good: I made it to my new apartment and finally got everything unpacked!
Bad: The apartment is older than time itself, and in desperate need of some repairs. The drawers fall out of the counters, one of the sink faucets threatens to break off every time the water is turned on, the front door sometimes simply refuses to open or close, and the whole place has the lingering smell of death. It's also tiny.
Good: There are lots of drawers and little nooks I can use to hold my stuff, so even though there's less space than last year, I've been able to get everything organized
Bad: I'm farther away from campus
Good: But it takes me 20 minutes to walk to the farthest edge of campus, which is pretty good time
Good: I also have a bike
Bad: They put the bike racks on rock beds, so I nearly twist my ankle every time I go to get my bike
Bad: I have an 8 o'clock class
Good: I made it to my 8 o'clock class today! And I'm not even tired! Yay for adrenaline!
Good: Monica made me go to a get-together thing with a bunch of people from our new ward last night, and it was really fun. We played this freaky version Mafia, where instead of having mobsters, cops, and doctors, you have vampires and werewolves and witches and suicide bombers and the like.
Good: I got to go back to work last night. I love my job. I walked in and the people who knew me were all happy to see me, and the people who didn't know me were like "Why is this random girl sitting in the office like she owns the place?" My boss told me my assignment and said, "You know what to do, go do it!" Which is a huge relief after the micromanaging nature of my summer cashier job at a Store-That-Must-Not-Be-Named. That's why I loved interning for my uncle too. He told me what my topic of research was and where to find the information and set me loose. I just had to meet the weekly deadline (and write factually and cohesively, of course) but other than that, I had free reign to use my own judgment. There's a gospel principle in there somewhere. So yeah. I love being a janitor. Who knew? (Well, I really just love my boss and coworkers and the hours and the fact that I don't have to deal with any customers. But getting paid to empty trash cans and vacuum isn't bad.)
Bad: There are only four of us left from last year's work crew, which is sad because I miss my friends. But they're in a better place now.
Good: Netflix. I love you Netflix. I'm so grateful to have you in my life
Bad: I have not met any cute guys so far
Good: I have not met any cute guys so far. This is how I explained it to Monica, "Sadly, I really only like fictional guys. Or fictional guys with British accents. Or fictional guys with Australian accents. Or fictional guys with Asgardian accents. Yes. That's number one. Only when that option has been completely exhausted will we proceed to the next."
Good: I actually have things to blog about now! And I made my blog look all princess-y. And don't you love the quotes? Audrey Hepburn is just my favorite.
Bad: A lot of people in my new ward seem really old
Good: My roommates seem really nice. And there's only five of us right now, instead of six.
Bad: I left the house without make-up this morning. Feel free to be ashamed
Good: I have it on now, and I'm wearing one of my favorite new cardigans, and it's super soft and comfy and not too hot and I love it.

And that is my life.

Here's a sneak peek of what you can look forward to in My Princess Diary this semester:

Aspects of Chick Flicks I Cannot Stand: Things that make my hair curl (not that it needs it)

Reflections on Universal Truths as I Sit Waiting in the Airport: So much alone time with no distractions leads to interesting thoughts

A Final and Authoritative Decision on a Sign-Off Phrase for Potterites: "May the dementors of the day never suck out your soul..." I'm going to think about this some more.

And what you've all been waiting for...

My Completely Unbiased and Positive Take on Dating Out of the Freshman Bubble!
I'm going to try REALLY REALLY hard to be nice to boys this year. I don't want any more bad dating karma. At the rate I'm going, I'm looking at a future with the character Drake Bell played in the Hillbilly Knock-Knock Joke sketch on The Amanda Show

May the Light of Eärendil always shine for you in the darkest of places!
Emily <3

The Only Question You Need to Ask to Understand a Person

We all know the dating world is tricky. You have to balance your desire to really get to know someone with your desire to uphold your crush as the epitome of human perfection. Sometimes, you get a year into a relationship and realize you've completely misunderstood the other person. If only there were some way to understand the essential personality and character of a person before you begin seriously dating!

I believe I have the solution.

With one--that's right, one--question, you will be able to determine your compatibility with the person you are interested in. This question is as follows:

Can you please name for me five dragon breeds?

The answer to this question will tell you who your date truly is.

A non-nerd (or as society calls them, "a normal person") will say: "Dragons aren't real" or "Huh?" (they may also back away)

A nerd will say: Some ridiculous reference to a video game, Dungeons and Dragons, a comic book, or--heaven forbid--Eragon


A Harry Potter novice (a non-fan who has nonetheless enjoyed the books or movies) will say: "Um, I don't know, that big one that Harry fought? And the little one that caught Hagrid's beard on fire." (They might be able to come up with the names of these two breeds, but will not get all five)

A Harry Potter nerd will say (proudly): "Hungarian Horntail, Norwegian Ridgeback, Swedish Short-snout, Common Welsh Green aaaaand...CHINESE FIREBALL!"


An EXTREME Harry Potter nerd (also known as a fanatic, though they prefer the term enthusiasts) will say: "Ukrainian Ironbelly, Antipodean Opaleye, Hebridian Black, Peruvian Vipertooth, and Romanian Longhorn" (insert smug smile) They say all this purely to be facetious. I mean, anybody could say Hungarian Horntail. Only someone truly brilliant would know about Peruvian Vipertooths (Viperteeth?)


There you have it. The most important question to ask on your first date. May you always catch your Snitch.
(Okay, Harry Potter doesn't really have a good parting phrase. I mean, you have "May the force be with you" and "Live long and prosper" and "May the odds be ever in your favor" and "May the stars watch over you" and even "May a sparkly vampire guard you in your sleep." We need a good one for Harry Potter. And Lord of the Rings too, now that I'm thinking about it. All right, I have a new mission in life. Expect a follow-up blogpost.)

For now, I'll just leave you with a few words: Nitwit. Oddment. Blubber. Tweak.
Good luck on your date!
Emily <3

200 Years of Awesomeness

Hello internet peoples! I have some very exciting news to share with you. First of all, my birthday was a couple of days ago, which is worth remarking on. Because yay birthdays!! Secondly, you may have realized by now that I get obsessions. They are usually over books, movies, TV shows, and, occasionally, boy bands. These obsessions usually start very strongly, and become the only thing I can think about for several weeks, until tempering to a more socially acceptable level of fandom. Not that my intense love of people and things that aren't real is ever truly socially acceptable. But who wants society to accept them? I'd much rather go see the Avengers four times in theaters. (Anybody wanna go again?)

But I digress. My point is that there are a few obsessions that are different. Obsessions that started years and years ago, and made such an impact on my life that they've become part of my personality. For better or worse, I would not be who I am today if it weren't for

1. Harry Potter
2. The Princess Diaries book series (not the movies)
3. Disney Renaissance movies
4. Pride and Prejudice

It's the last of these that I want to talk about today.

Pride and Prejudice. Published in 1813 by that paragon of female literary prowess, that eternal Single Lady who managed to accomplish so much in her life--Jane Austen--Pride and Prejudice has been beloved by women everywhere for 200 hundred years. (And I do mean everywhere--perhaps you're aware of the Bollywood production Bride and Prejudice? That was fun.) It's the original chick-lit book,  with a strong and intelligent heroine who eventually finds her happily ever after. Thousands of women have come to consider Elizabeth Bennet their best friend. I read a critique for another Jane Austen novel, Mansfield Park, which said that the reason modern readers were not as fond of it was that the main character was not enough like Lizzy Bennet. So true. And the male characters? For many, many readers, Mr. Darcy has become the ideal man. Imperfect, but lovable. It is his imperfection that makes him so completely perfect.

It always galls me that in every single European history or humanities class I take there is absolutely no mention of Jane Austen when we reach literature of the nineteenth century. I mean, sure, Pride and Prejudice didn't spark any revolutionary changes in society, or bring to light the plight of the child coal miners, but I think the fact that women around the world have been able to relate with it for two centuries says something about the impact it has had on western culture. It's more than just a chick-lit book. It's the story of how several women dealt with the constrictions of early nineteenth century England. For middle class women without much money, the only chance for survival was a prosperous marriage. Too genteel to become a governess (or a housekeeper or maid), but not genteel enough to easily make an advantageous marriage or remain single. Take Charlotte. She had to snap up a completely repulsive guy because she literally had no other options. She wasn't pretty enough to attract anybody else, and at 27 she was practically an old maid. Isn't that terrible? She chose personal humiliation and a disgusting husband for security and social respect. Luckily for us we can focus on Jane and Lizzy, who had happy endings. Yay chick-lit!!!

As if countless movies and BBC miniseries based on the book weren't enough, the world of entertainment has recently brought us yet another take on the well-loved story. My dear friends, Lizzie Bennet now has a vlog.

EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

A good friend of mine (Thanks, Amy!) told me about the videos a few days ago, and let me tell you, they are phenomenal. Like Bridget Jones' Diary or Pride and Prejudice: A Latter-Day Perspective (aka Mormon Pride and Prejudice), it's a modern retelling of our favorite tale, but this time, it is completely from Lizzie's (oh so biased) point of view.

The premise is this: Lizzie Bennet is a 24-year-old grad student majoring in Mass Communications who has to make a video diary with her film student best friend, Charlotte Lu (yes, Charlotte is Asian. Yay diversity! I don't think they had much of that in Victorian England.) Along the way, we meet Lizzie's two sisters Jane and Lydia (who has a pet cat named Kitty. I guess Mary was a much too depressing character to include on the show) and are regaled with tales of a crazy, marriage-obsessed mother (which, 200 years later, is still a staple of western society), an uninvolved father, the handsome new neighbor Bing Lee, his stuck-up sister Caroline, and his truly awful best friend...William Darcy.

Let me just tell you, these videos are amazing, which just goes to show that the story of Pride and Prejudice will never ever ever ever ever ever get old. Just like with every other adaptation, there are major differences. Obviously, there are three sisters instead of five, both to keep in line with modern family size and the keep the cast of the videos small. The girls are older, more independent, able to work and wear pants. They don't need to get married, which will make their decision to all the more special. Lydia is much more likable, despite her promiscuity. Sadly, the actions of Lydia in the book would not be considered at all inappropriate today, thanks to our extremely loose moral standards.  I don't think Mr. Collins will make an appearance (Note the reference to "Rick Collins" in episode 9) because marriages to cousins are generally frowned on in this century. Other than that, Jane is sweet and too nice, Lizzie is strong-willed and witty, and Charlotte attempts to be the voice of reason. So far, George Wickham has been mentioned, and I feel the tension building. At 22 videos, the show is heading straight into the first major conflict (the aftermath of the Netherfield party, when Bingley leaves town) and I can't wait!!!!!!!!

Please, join me in experiencing Pride and Prejudice in this new and exciting way. So much amazing new technology available to us, and yet we stick with this classic tale. Jane Austen, you rock. Thanks for making the last 200 hundred years a little bit more light, bright, and sparkling.

(Note: This isn't the 1800's, so the show can be slightly inappropriate, especially when Lydia is around. There are occasional sexual references and bad words. You have been warned. But you should watch it anyway.)

Always and forever a P&P fan,

Emily <3

Important Facts

I'm breaking my self-imposed summertime exile from my blog to bring you list of interesting things I would like to share. I would call them "Little-known facts" but I have no idea what or how much you know. They could be very "Well-known facts." So I will call them "Facts Emily Knows." Because, well, they are.

Facts Emily Knows.
1. Austin is full of hipsters. Which is probably good for the city, because hipsters care about the environment, and so they keep the city clean.
2. Everyone in Austin runs. Or jogs. Or walks. Or rides their bike. In fact, I've seen hardly anyone wearing anything other than hipster clothes or running clothes.
3. Many times in Austin, guys run without their shirts on. Which makes sense, since it's nearly 100 degrees, but sometimes, you wish they would cover up. Like I said EVERYONE runs, regardless of age or physical condition.
4. Everyone in Austin has a dog. The dogs walk and run as well. But they don't ride bikes.
5. The Home Depot in Austin lets shoppers bring in their dogs. Because dogs like to DIY (DIT?) Do other Home Depots let doggies roam the aisles? This is not a fact Emily knows, because Emily does not frequent Home Depot often.
6. Emily is starting to feel like her IQ drops a few points every time she writes in third person.
7. Cats have scent glands on their paws, so when they knead something like a blanket--or your chest--they are actually marking their territory. Dogs pee.
8. I went nearly four days without hearing We Are Young, Stronger, Glad You Came, Somebody That I Used to Know, What Makes You Beautiful, Call Me Maybe or anything by Katy Perry or Nicki Minaj. No, that stuff is too mainstream for the popular Austin radio station (Yes, even Fun! I guess they got too popular and broke the Hipster Code. However, they did play some Adele. Everyone loves Adele.) It was actually quite nice listening to indie music though. It's some good stuff.
9. In Austin, there is a Bat Bridge. Something like three-quarters of a million bats live under the Congress Street Bat Bridge and they are supposed to fly out in huge droves at dusk. Well, dusk came, and there we were, hundreds of humans, gathering close together on the bridge, peering into the still water below and desperately searching for a flicker of motion that would signal the rise of our dark masters. Night fell, and while a few creatures emerged from their slumber, nothing like the mass gathering we were promised. Thus, the believers slowly drifted away, their hopes shattered.
I think it's a hoax.
10. Snow White and the Huntsman was a not a good movie, and Kristen Stewart needs to stop acting. She's just not very good at it.
11. The Avengers was the best movie I've ever seen, but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm really mad that they killed off the person they killed off, because now that person won't be in anymore superhero movies!!!! Still, Avengers was so good.
12. Liars are awful. For instance, after going through two interviews with the manager of a certain store, and waiting for four days after the manager said "We'll call you today, or tomorrow at the latest," after going back into the store to see if there was any news, I get this email: "Thank you for interviewing with us for the position of Customer Experience Associate. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for this position." How cowardly is that? They couldn't even say "No" over the phone, much less to my face! Despicable.
13. Apparently people can't refuse me in person, because I walked into an interview with Michaels, and got the job right away! So now I have a job.
14. I have had two interactions with males in the past two months. I miss talking to boys. They keep things interesting. I may not be very good at flirting, but I do enjoy it!
15. These have all been "Facts Emily Knows." Hope you enjoyed 'em. 

I Really Don't Have Anything To Say

Something terrible has happened to me. When summer began, I was all set to change my sleeping schedule back to one more appropriate for human existence. I tried to go to sleep earlier, and to wake up earlier. I set my phone alarm for 7 AM every morning. It started to work: I am now in bed no later than midnight every night (excepting the night of the Avengers. I went to sleep at 4 AM that night, which I believe is excusable considering the circumstances.) However, for the life of me, I cannot get up early! I wake up when my 7 o'clock alarm goes off, and doze until my 8 o'clock alarm goes off, then slip into another dream until I wake up of my own accord at 10. 

For a few days I got really angry at myself, and my lack of willpower, but then I realized what was wrong. I have nothing to do. No purpose. Without school, work, special projects, or even social activities during the day, I have to reason to get up in the morning. It's the weirdest feeling, and it set me on the road to another self-discovery: I always need a mission. I'd been used to thinking of myself as a go-with-the-flow kind of person, drifting through life on the road to some distant future goal--graduating college, getting a job, maybe having a family. But that's not true! Even if it's just a little thing, a minuscule goal like finishing a book series quickly, I need a purpose. Otherwise, I'll stay in bed all day watching movies. That is not an exaggeration. I'm actually embarrassed of how much time I've spent on Netflix the past two and a half weeks, but I've already made a goal to change it! The only shows I've watched today were the season finales of The Office and The Big Bang Theory, which I think is perfectly acceptable. The news is that Dwight might be getting his own spin-off show, meaning he would have to leave The Office, and that show cannot survive losing both Michael and Dwight, especially since the Jim-and-Pam storyline is so worn out, and there really isn't much else left for that show. Even Andy-and-Erin has been pretty much resolved. 

I watch too much TV.

So now that I know I need a purpose in life, and some goals, what are my plans for the summer?

-I'm going to visit my aunt Bonnie in Austin, since I really, really want to hang out with her down in the city, and see her apartment and her rooftop pool.

-I want to see the Avengers again, at least once (maybe more)

-I want to get a job by the end of the month

-I want to finish the Eragon book series. The last one, Inheritance, came out last year (I think) and I haven't read it because I couldn't remember anything that happened in the first three books. So I'm rereading. And let me tell you something--I don't actually like them very much. The writing style is really annoying, because it seems like Mr. Christopher Paolini sat with a thesaurus next to him the whole time he was writing, just to make himself look smarter. And there have been so many times when I finished reading a sentence and just groaned because of how pretentious he sounded. Also, they are the most blatantly atheist, hippie fantasy books I've ever read (I haven't read the Phillip Pullman books), which is irritating. Most fantasy books I've read either use pantheism, like in the ancient Mesopotamian and Celtic religions, since they usually take place during a medieval time, or don't worry about religion at all. Some, like the Lord of the Rings or the Chronicles of Narnia, use Christianity as the basic religion. Even Harry Potter, which stays away from religion despite its modern setting, states there is an afterlife, quotes the Bible, and uses some other, subtle Christian themes. I don't need Christianity to be present to enjoy a book series, but coupled by the air of know-it-all-ness possessed by the "intelligent" (aka atheist vegetarian hippie) characters and the pretentious author, the Eragon books just gets under my skin. Apparently, eating meat is bad because all lives are special, and since there isn't an afterlife we shouldn't do anything to shorten the lives of our fellow creatures, since this life is all we have. So no meat. Got it (hold on for a second while I grab a Slim Jim.) And there is no God, since how could a God let bad things happen? Forget human accountability, which would disappear if a God were to exist (universe forbid [see what I did there?]). Oh, and do you remember that one time in the 7th Harry Potter book when Hermione was teaching Harry and Ron about Horcruxes, and she said that if a body was killed, the soul would live on? According to the dragon Glaedr, "When the flesh is destroyed, so is the soul." 

And that is why Harry Potter is my favorite books series, and I'll just hurry up and finish the Inheritance cycle just so I can find out how it ends. The story is pretty good, even if it is stolen from every other epic fantasy and science fiction story ever, and all the characters talk like Shakespearean kings, even if they are illiterate farmers. But yeah, I'm gonna finish that series!!!!!

Where was I? Oh yeah, I have no life. It's no secret that I really don't like people (at all), but I'm almost starting to miss them. Almost. I went to my brother's NHS induction and nearly had a heart attack because there were TOO MANY PEOPLE. I hate being in the middle of crowds. I'm what you would call an "introvert." Social settings completely drain my energy. However, I did experience a moment a couple days ago when my phone buzzed and I got excited because I thought someone was texting me, but it was just a Facebook notification. I normally hate texting! I barely text at all, unless I need some information or I'm trying to get a guy to like me, but I was actually hoping that I'd gotten a text! That's how sad my life is right now. Say it with me everyone! "Poor Emily..."

Did you say it? Good!

Still, I'm glad I'm home. I love Texas, and once I have a real purpose again I'll be happier than a pig in a bog of mud. I thought about it, and as bored as I have been the past few days, I can honestly say that I am still thrilled that I'm not at school anymore. 

Even with my awful England dream. It was awful because it was so real, and so, so good. :( I want to go to Europe!!!!!!!!! And not really a study abroad program type-thing either, but a vacation! Sigh. Well, what's life without dreams? I gotta have something to look forward too!

I'm sorry that I don't really have much to write about. I can't really rant about boys anymore, because I'm expecting an almost completely boy-free summer. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it doesn't leave with much to write about! You know what I should do? I should start a movie review blog, where I talk about why the movies I see this summer are good or crappy. That will give me plenty of material to write about!! I'll think about it.

Still, I know you guys come to my blog to read all my sage advice about boys and dating (and by that, I mean you like to read about my strange attitudes toward romance and my dating mishaps, as I struggle to navigate this couple-filled world) so I have come up with a chart that I feel accurately describes my experience with boys. We talk about circles of friends, and we all have several: our best friends, our close friends, our necessary acquaintances, the people we tolerate, etc., etc. Well, I have drawn a Circle of Attraction for myself. Observe: 

Here's how it works: I make a guy friend, and usually the guys I hang out with are guys that I could find likable, in time. However, we usually become such good friends that he gets pushed into the Friendzone. Thus, the guys closest to me are Friendzoned. To find guys that I can actually like for an extended period of time, we have to skip over the Fiction-Reality Line to the world of fantasy, to my true loves: Mr. Darcy, Aragorn, and 2/3 of the Avengers, to name a few. If we wish to find guys who I can both like and be liked by (i.e. men I can marry), we must delve further into the realm of fantasy, almost to the point of the Wasteland of Delusion, where such men scrape out a meager existence in the dark corners of my best dreams. 

In other news, every time I see lightning, I become convinced that Thor is coming for me after all. One day...

And that is how I've spent my summer so far. 

Emily <3

The One Thing Everyone Needs to Stop Saying...and Happy May!!!

Hello, and welcome to the summer edition of My Princess Diary! I tried to change it up a little bit, since it does represent a new chapter in my life--my first summer as a college student! The color is different, the books have been replaced by palm trees, and Belle got some company. I hope you noticed that all three women are brilliant, beautiful, brunettes.

I know I promised to lay off the blog a bit, but the advent of summer doesn't mean my mind wanderings end. I still have things to say! So here we are, my first blog post of the summer time. What precious gems of wisdom will Emily bestow upon you today? What desperately important topics will she discuss with you?

Make-up.

Yep, make-up. I love the stuff, personally. Whenever I put it on, I feel like I'm an artist and my face is my canvas. Hopefully I look nice, and not like The Painted Lady (maybe three people who read this will get that reference), but I don't really care either way. Make-up is fun, and I like to wear it! But that's just my opinion, and explains the background of my argument.

Now, what has me thinking about make-up in a deep and analytical way? I'll tell you. I recently watched a clip from Good Morning America about a mom who puts make-up (eye shadow, blush, and lip gloss) on her four-year-old daughter on a regular basis. She calls it "mommy-daughter bonding time." Everyone on the show was highly critical of her parenting skills, saying four is way too young to start worrying about physical appearances, and that you don't need make-up to be pretty.

I agree wholeheartedly. When you're four, you don't need make-up, first of all, because you're already stinkin' cute with flawless skin, but, more importantly, you shouldn't be worrying about making yourself more attractive! I think it's quite weird.

However, the whole incident, including the comments of the GMA anchors, got me thinking about a little pet peeve of mine. People always say "You don't need make-up to be pretty!" "It's what's on the inside that counts!" "Everyone looks better natural!" The vast majority of young ladies and women wear make-up. It's just a fact. The question is, why? Why do women in our society feel like we need make-up to look pretty? Do we really think our natural faces are so hideous?

Maybe. But I don't think so.

Before I begin, let me give some disclaimers, so I don't insult anybody. These are my opinions about the importance of make-up, and you shouldn't feel threatened or put down by anything I'm saying. That's counterproductive. I want every girl to feel comfortable with her appearance, whatever she chooses to do. (Except I don't really like tattoos and lots of piercings. I do not endorse those, because they are self-destructive.)
The moral of this blog is take care of yourself and treat your body right. Does anyone disagree with these goals? Didn't think so. Let's get started!

There are two reasons for a woman to wear make-up. I believe that in either situation, making the comment "Girls look better without make-up" or "I prefer the natural look" is incredibly rude. If I had my way, they would never ever be uttered again. The two reasons women wear make-up are:
1) To look good for others.
We all want to appear attractive, especially to the opposite sex. For centuries, humans have used paints and dyes to modify their appearance and accent their most attractive qualities. Nowadays, temporary facial designs are reserved strictly for women (and certain flamboyant or depressed and disillusioned men). We wear mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow to highlight and enlarge our eyes, which are one of the most noticeable and attractive features. We wear blush to define our cheekbones. We use foundation and concealer to hide discolorations and blemishes which might be a biological sign of ill health or bad hygiene (or are just embarrassing). The point is, women go through a lot of trouble to make themselves look nice. And what's wrong with that? Make-up does not change your appearance (I'm talking about ordinary make-up application, not freaky stuff.) It doesn't make you a better person or change your inherent attractiveness. It just enhances your physical features. Putting on make-up is just like wearing flattering clothes and styling your hair: a tool to show that you are proud of who you are and want to be the best and most attractive person you can be.
Guys, (and girls who put down other girls for wearing make-up because they think that looking nice is stupid) girls who put on make-up to look good for others put a lot of time and effort into making their physical features the best they can be. Would you rather a girl show up for a date dressed in ragged sweatpants, with straggly hair and puffy face? Or would you prefer a girl who took the time to make herself look nice for you? I find it so incredibly rude whenever guys, or girls for that matter, say that make-up is useless. Let me tell you this: you actually haven't seen very many girls with the "natural" look. Nearly every young adult female wears make-up, even if it's just a little concealer and mascara. Appreciate what we do. We're just trying to show that we care about ourselves enough to put some time and effort into making ourselves shine (physically) so you should care about us too.

2) To look good for ourselves
Now, here's the part I really feel strongly about. I don't think we, as human beings, should look nice for other's pleasure. Yes, it is important to look appealing in order to attract a mate (because I cannot emphasize enough, PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. DO NOT DATE/MARRY SOMEONE YOU THINK IS UGLY. It's not shallow. Everyone has different ideas on what makes a person beautiful, so regardless of social conventions, do not settle for a person you are not attracted to. I really think it's common sense...), but it's more important for YOU to be comfortable with who YOU are. And that includes taking care of yourself! Look, our bodies our wonderful, amazing gifts from God. We always talk about "inner beauty" and developing your talents, but I think it's just as important to recognize that our bodies need to be treated just as well as our spirits. They're a part of who we are, and we have a responsibility to them. That includes exercising, eating right, and also making yourself look nice. Be proud of your body, whatever kind of body you have! Spend some time on yourself! Having a clean and pleasant appearance is extremely important for Mormons. That's why we have such strict grooming standards at BYU. So why not wear make-up? It doesn't take very long, it won't distract you from more important duties, and it shows that you value yourself enough to put in the extra time! If you don't believe me, and you think I'm shallow and image obsessed, don't take my word for it!
-My roommate, who works at the Missionary Training Center, told me that they told the sister missionaries to spend more time getting ready in the morning, and bought them all some make-up.
-One mother in the October 1994 Ensign said that, even though her job didn't require dressing professionally or being all made up, she "avoids dressing sloppily. Wearing a touch of lipstick or a dab of perfume helps me have a positive attitude."
-Coco Chanel, who revolutionized the fashion world for women, said "I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little bit, if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, that might be the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny."

Most importantly, I once asked, "Why do I even bother trying to dress up, or look nice?!" and my grandpa reminded me, "It's for your self-esteem." That is so true. When I put on make-up and do my hair, I feel like I can take on the world. I don't need to worry about what other's think. I want to be as pretty as I can be, without jeopardizing my soul, because I am worth it. I'm a daughter of God, and he gave me this body to treasure as a temple and gift. Our temples are absolutely gorgeous, and we spend a great deal of time making them beautiful. Why don't we give our bodies the same treatment?

So, if you wear make-up for yourself, because it gives you a boost of self-esteem, it's crushing when someone tells you they prefer girls without make-up. Or that make-up is evil, and unnecessary. To that I say, how dare you. How DARE you tell me how to look. How dare you think that you are the ultimate authority on my physical appearance. This is my face, and I know what looks good. I want to look in the mirror and be pleased with my reflection. Is there anyone out there who likes feeling gross and unattractive? If putting on a little make-up boosts a person's confidence, because they are happy with themselves, what on earth makes anyone else think they can say otherwise? Even if you do like girls with completely unmade-up faces, shut your fat mouth and keep your opinions to yourself. They aren't looking nice for you. They're looking nice because they like looking nice.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Two important notes before I wrap, to clarify my point.

First, I'm not saying you have to wear make-up if you're a girl. I'm saying that if you do, you shouldn't be penalized or insulted. Feel free to do whatever makes you happy. Some girls honestly don't need or like make-up, and that's great. The most important thing is to take care of yourself, and be comfortable with who you are. I'm comfortable with make-up. I feel pretty and confident when I wear make-up. Do others even notice if I wear make-up? Probably not. I probably don't look any different. But I feel different, which is all that matters.

Second, I'm definitely not telling anyone to sacrifice personality for looks, or dedicate tons of time to improving your physical appearance. Make sure to have balance between your spirit and your body. They are both a part of who you are. The goal is to be beautiful inside and out. And yes, I believe every girl can be beautiful, and every guy can be handsome. It doesn't mean that they're super model-hot to everyone, but that they are happy with who they are and what they look like. That they take care of themselves. That they feel attractive and important. 

And honestly, what's more attractive than a person who is confident and comfortable with who they are?

Striving every day to be beautiful inside and out, and wishing you the best on your mortal journey,

Emily <3

First Year of College: Check!

I am writing these final words of wisdom while sitting on my big comfy couch (it's one of those couches with a chaise lounge, so it's basically a bed, while still being a couch) in my media room, watching Friends on our big-screen TV as my baby kitties wander in and out of the room. I realize this complete and utter bliss will not last long, so I am enjoying it while I can.


I have been considering the material of this blog post for several days now. This has to be quite fantastic, as it is the last one of the year. How can I possibly sum up this year? It's been a crazy ride. As Megara (her friends call her Meg. At least they would, if she had any friends) would say, "It's been a real slice." I made some life-long friends, some very bad decisions (although I never went to the Honor Code office! You know that's right), and some yummy meals on my stove. I had good times, bad times, tired times, lazy times, productive times, fun times, boring times, the best of times, the worst of times...


Digressions and random quotes aside, it's been a heck of year. However, BYU did not quite live up to my expectations. I mean, I was in Provo for eight months, and I'm not married yet! Whatever happened to "a ring by spring or your money back?" I feel extremely cheated. JUST KIDDING.


Serious time now. I promise. At least for a bit. I made it, guys. I wasn't sure I was going to, those last couple weeks. It was tough, but I DID IT. I survived. And now I'm back home. I finished my freshman year of college.


WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh I am so relieved right now I can't even tell you! However, with the close of the year comes the close of many other things. Including this section of the blog. My focus has obviously been the world of BYU dating, from the eyes of a freshman, and this summer and (hopefully) next year, I won't have to worry about any of that. I love this blog too much to let go of it entirely, but I think I need to take a little hiatus. I want to return to my writing with a new lease on life; to write from the perspective of a slightly-more-mature college sophomore. I hope you understand. If I have something to talk about this summer, I will. You all know how much I love to talk, especially about myself.


For right now, for my absolute final blog post of freshman year, I am going to reflect a bit on what I learned this year, and give my definitive, unquestionable, and completely correct opinion on everything important, starting with (big surprise)...


RELATIONSHIPS!!!!
-Freshman, BYU relationships, to be more precise. Quick show of hands--who got into a relationship this year with somebody at school? All right, that's the majority of my ward. And how many lasted until the end of the year? Watch those hands fall! Sure, a few people actually developed a close, healthy relationship, but it was quite amusing to watch so many couples come and go. I, too, fell prey to the freshman dating frenzy, and participated in a 6-day Misadventure that was, undoubtedly, a bad idea.
Here's what happened: I met a guy in January. We got along really well, and I started to think he might like me, and I started to think I might like him, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship or rush into anything. Too bad I found out that he liked another girl too, and got super jealous. I'm a little bit competitive, and I just had to win him over. Well, I did, and I soon realized to my horror that I should've stuck to my original plan, because the jealousy had basically wiped away all of my former feelings of affection. However, I did the right thing and ended it as soon as possible, instead of drawing out the relationship just because I didn't want to be alone. I know, I was kind of an idiot during February. Thankfully, I believe I've recovered from that brief bout of insanity.


When I came to BYU, I expected to go on lots of dates. I mean, that's what you do at BYU, right? That's kind of what it's famous for. That and early marriage. Unfortunately, I underestimated my anti-dating power. I'm just not one of those girls who goes on lots of fun dates! Nor am I one of those girls who has boyfriends. I am, and always will be, a Single Lady. Does that mean I will always be alone? No, it does not. I realize that my attitude toward dating does not endear me to the opposite sex, nor does  the assertions I've made in this blog. I think that next year I won't try to push this blog, because I do want to start dating somebody, someday. On the other hand, only a super brave and determined young would attempt to go after me after reading my hostile blog posts, and that's the kind of guy I might be able to form a lasting relationship with.


It's like the attitude of Ryan Gosling in the Notebook, which I watched for the first time a couple of weeks ago. He told Rachel McAdams, "So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day." That's what I want. I think that's what every girl wants. We just want to be wanted. Nobody wants to be sloppy seconds, or an afterthought. And I promise you, when I find the guy who wants me that badly, I will do my best to fight to keep him. 


(On a related note, my girl cat is currently grooming my boy cat. This is a service I cannot offer to any prospective beaux. I apologize.)


My advice? Very, very few BYU freshman relationships last for any significant amount of time. When the Exposure Effect takes over, sanity and reason go out the window. This semester, a friend who had a short-lived girlfriend apologized to me for his criticism after I randomly stopped liking my crush from first semester. He, too, completely stopped liking this girl, and realized that maybe I wasn't crazy after all. It's just what happens when you become romantically involved with someone you spend all your time with.


BYU Freshman dating can be very rewarding, or a huge pain in the butt. Proceed with caution.


Secondly, let's talk about another favorite subject,
ME AND MY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!
-Kidding, kidding. I have had some ups and downs this year, but when it comes down to it, I was just suffering from stress, doubt, low self-esteem, and fear of the future. I struggled a lot, and had a little breakdown during March, but I think I've come out of it stronger. I'm happy now, and I've learned some things about myself:
1) I say "I can't" way too much. "I can't" have a boyfriend because I scare boys away. "I can't" be in the ward talent show because I have nothing to perform. "I can't" make friends because I automatically assume people find me annoying and abrasive and so I push them away. I'm my own biggest critic, and that needs to change. If I'm going to make it in this world, I need to stop holding myself back. I have to start saying "I will." "I will" make friends. "I will" be a nice, positive person. "I will" make it to New York City, and San Francisco, and London and Paris and Rome and Venice and New Zealand. "I will" have a happy life, whether married, single, or whatever, because that's my choice. I struggle to keep sight of that some times, but I am going to stop dragging myself down.
2) That leads me to the second: I have had no trials in my life. I found this book called How to Be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life. Audrey was an amazing woman, and she lived through the Nazi occupation of Holland. The strength she developed in order to survive her circumstances allowed her to stand strong for the rest of her life and make something of herself. She was one of the most beloved people in history, but good fortune didn't fall into her lap. Her father abandoned the family, the war left them penniless, many of her friends died, but she worked so hard to make a life for herself, and it paid off. I've never gone through anything difficult. I've led a pretty charmed life. This year, I worried that I'm not being tested, or growing or progressing, and that I was going to stay a little caterpillar forever, instead of blooming into a butterfly. However, I quickly realized that my biggest trial, the test that will make me so much stronger, is daily life. My challenge is overcoming my laziness and apathy to grow into the kind of person I'm capable of becoming. Again, my own attitude is the thing holding me back from reaching my full potential.
3) I do stand out. I was so scared that I would be completely invisible when I came to BYU; that everyone else would be nothing more than a better version of myself. Thankfully, that was not entirely the case. I may be a tiny fish in a vast ocean, but I'm still special, at least in a couple of ways: 
-I have really, really long eyelashes. I hope I don't sound conceited, but I am so, so grateful for them
-I accept my status as a Single Lady, instead of praying for a date on Friday. I don't like dates (oops, sorry. I promise I won't say that anymore after this post. I really am trying to be better. But I'm still not going to delete that one because it's true. Sorry.)
-My passions (cough *obsessions* cough). Okay, this really isn't a good thing to be known for, but I'm proud of how much I love Harry Potter. I am proud of how much I love cats. I am proud of how much I love Disney, and I'm especially proud of my rockin' Disney Princess blog post. Go read that right now, if you haven't already. I'm not ashamed of the things I love, and I don't care if people think I'm crazy. So there. 
I often feel invisible, and like I don't really add anything to the world, but I know that's not true. I'm pretty sure I am important, even if I never do anything super important. I may never be as successful and beautiful and wonderful as Audrey Hepburn, but I'm trying every day to follow her example of grace and class, and hopefully I can make the world a tiny bit better.


And this is just going on and on, isn't it? Oh, what else is new. I write long posts! Which brings me to my next topic...
MY FABULOUS PRINCESS BLOG!!!!!
-Oh, darling blogspot.com, I cannot praise you enough. The outlet for my frustration and creativity, my own little corner of the Internet where I could rant my heart out. When I started writing this blog, everyone was dismissive: "You're starting a blog? Seriously? That's so 2004." Still, I went with it. And what a good idea that was! A guy in my ward read my "Mating Season" post, and came to talk to me about it. Slowly, my roommate and I grew very close to him, and then his roommates, until we were all very good friends (and occasionally dated. But that's all over with). I'm not trying to be ridiculously vain, but this little blog had a huge impact on my freshman year, and I do think it had a part in the development of some of my friendships. After all, I poured my heart and soul and personality into this blog, so you readers have a pretty good idea of who I am. I'm not very good at keeping secrets about myself, or holding back what I'm thinking. Obviously.
Anyway, I think this blog kept me going second semester. Seriously. Suddenly, I had followers. There were people who cared about what I had to say, who enjoyed reading what I wrote. I can't say enough how good that felt. You, the people reading this right now, the people who told me "I love reading your blog! Don't stop posting!" that's how I got through this last semester. It gave me a purpose, made me feel like I was having an impact on the world. My blog made people happy! And that made me happy. Which helped me make it through the year. 
So, thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks for encouraging me. Thanks for making me feel like I could add something to the world. That I mattered. 
-My family, especially my Aunt Bonnie and my grandma, who brag to all their friends about me, and told me that I was talented. Oh, and aunt Beth, who (along with Bonnie) told me I could do New York. That's the goal, guys. Oh, and mom. You like my blog, right mom?
-My coworkers, who are some of the most amazing people I met at school. I really will miss you guys. Good luck with everything. Thanks for reading, and I didn't really mind all the short jokes. Also, I didn't actually cry Thursday night, or any time during the weekend, actually. It was a little disappointing. My tear ducts chose the saddest weekend of the year to fail me. Lame.
-All my other friends at school who read this. And actually, I feel like I should just give a big blanket "I love you" to all my friends, readers or not, particularly my roommates. Monica, Mikaela, Brooke, Lindsay, Sierra: thank you for a fun year. Monica, Mikaela, Brooke--let's have a party next year too, all right?
-Friends from home who read this. I'm so excited to see you again. Y'all rock. I'm so looking forward to this summer!!!!!
-And thanks to anyone else who reads this, including you Russians and Lithuanians. I hope you like what I had to say.


If not, whatever. I like saying it!


What a year. It was good, but now it's over. Let the summer begin. Both of my cats are on my bed, the air is heavy and damp (instead of nasty, dry Utah air), and I'm ready to have a great summer.


I want to leave you with some big impressive quote or something to wrap up this year, but it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm exhausted.


Oh, wait a second, I have something. Here's that speech Aragorn gave to the men of Gondor before they fought the battle at the Gates of Mordor in Return of the King. That's always a good one:

"The day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of woes, and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear, on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!"

Stand, readers of this blog! We have our own battles to fight, against an enemy just as awful, so let's not forget who we are, where we came from, and where we're going. I feel like I should say some more inspirational stuff, but I'm really tired. 

I love you.

I'll see you all again, one day. 

I hope you've enjoyed reading this blog as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Summer break, here I come.

Emily <3

Friday the 13th

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I HAVE BEEN AFFLICTED WITH THE BAD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding. It hasn't really been an unlucky day at all. So much for superstition.

Although, if I was superstitious, I would have great reason to fear. This is the Saga of the Broken Mirrors.

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up for church and freaked out. That's because when I sat up, instead of seeing myself in the mirror, I saw a wooden door. It's really disconcerting when you're expecting a mirror and one isn't there. It feels like the room shrinks. I looked at the ground, and there was my mirror. On the floor. Broken in two.

BAM. 7 years of bad luck.

I stuck the pieces back onto the door and figured I'd just tell my RA about the crack. Well, a couple of days later I walk into my room, and there's my mirror, in pieces all over the floor.

BAM. Another 7 years.

So I told my RA, and we gathered up the pieces and put them in a trash bag. I called maintenance, who sent me to the glass office, where I left a message saying that my mirror was broken.

After a little while, I stuck the full-length mirror I'd bought at the beginning of the year onto my door. A couple of days later, I was sitting in bed when that one fell, shattering, but keeping it's shape.

BAM. Another 7 years.

So I had a cracked mirror, that slowly fell to pieces over the next few weeks, until I finally tossed it yesterday.

The glass man called me back and left a message saying I need to fill out an order form with the Head RA. I should do that...

Moral of the story: the universe hates me. I have 21 years of bad luck. Although, since I broke my mirrors, I've had a few really good things happen. Like discovering One Direction! They are giving me the strength to make it through the next week. I got my family way into them as well. We will definitely have to have a party when I get home.

I've decided that my favorite song by them is "One Thing" (even though it's everybody's favorite), simply because I get chills every time Harry sings "You're my kryptonite." I just love his voice so much. I love them all. It's been a while since I've had a good obsession. It makes me happy. I'm listening to the album right now, as a matter of fact.

I love Harry's voice the best (although Zayn's [the dark one with the gorgeous eyelashes] is extremely impressive) but I think Liam is the best looking. And that vest? I swear, we girls are absolutely defenseless when faced with a well-dressed man. Speaking of which, here's a couple of things that make girls turn into little puddles of hopelessly-in-love goo:

1. Suits, or other dressy outfits (such as nice vests and blazers)
2. A gorgeous singing voice
3. When a guy puts his arm around her and strokes her upper arm
4. When a guy smells really, really good
5. Dimples
6. Noticing a really cute guy is checking her out (I guess that's really just a confidence booster, unless she has a crush on the guy. Then she melts)
7. Strong arms (I don't think it's just me)
8. When she sees a guy she likes, and when their eyes meet he can't help but flash a huge smile
9. Beautiful eyes (guys can have them. And they're attractive)
10. When a guy goes out of his way to help someone else, or be nice to someone, or cheer someone up. It's especially endearing when he's kind of a tough guy. Every lady wants a gentleman, but he can't be a pushover.

Note: these aren't hints that I'm wanting somebody to ask me out. I think this blog, and my general hostility towards dating (and guys) has pretty much killed any chance of making a guy like me any time in the near future. Maybe by next year I'll be mature and actually ready for a relationship, or at least some fun dates (oh gosh, "One Thing" just came on again and my stomach flipped. I freaking love this song.), and all the guys I know will be gone, so I can start over. Hopefully, if I do grow up over the summer, the guys next year won't have to know about my man-eater reputation. I really don't want to die alone, but I'm not a very nice person. And I can't flirt. That's what BYU needs! A class on flirting! We can call it Coquetry 101. We have marriage prep classes, and family life classes, but they don't have any classes for socially awkward people who are trying to get over their aversion towards dependence and needing people. Or we can have a recovery group: Single Ladies Anonymous. "My name is Emily and I hate dating." "Hi, Emily." Because as much as I love being independent, and as much as I've embraced the Single life...I do want to fall in love at some point. I just don't know how.


Also, all the wrong guys like me. Always.
But Liam, Harry, Niall...if you guys are ever single and in the area, give me a call, okay? I don't know I'm beautiful...

I'm young, free, and the world is at my feet. Americans live for about eighty years, right? That gives me plenty of time to figure out the dating thing. I can be happy and single for a little while longer. I have three life plans:
-stay single, move to New York and work at a publishing company
-get married
-spend the rest of my days living as a nomad in Europe, carrying my possessions on my back, picking up odd jobs, and walking from place to place.

This is my life.
My name is Emily, and I can't/won't/don't know how to date.
Or: My name is Emily, and I have ridiculously high expectations for my future companion.
Or: My name is Emily, and I have the exact right expectations for my future companion, I just have to meet those expectations in myself, because awesome guys deserve awesome girls.
Or: My name is Emily, and I'm a blog-a-holic.
Yeah, that last one sounds about right.

Adios, amigos. I gotta study for my Book of Mormon test.
Emily Lovegood <3

Happiness on April 11th

I am very, very, very happy today.

Like ridiculously happy.

Why am I so happy? A variety of things.

Last night, I came home from work at 1:40. I'm usually happy after work, because I love my coworkers and my job and stuff. Monica was in the kitchen watching the latest How I Met Your Mother (which made me angry because things aren't turning out the way I want them to.) After she finished we were just talking in the kitchen, when she decided to look up this band everybody and their dog has been obsessing about. We'd seen a couple of videos, and were mildly impressed, but it required some further research.

She discovered that they'd performed on the Nickelodeon TV show iCarly, and the episode in question was available to watch on YouTube. Twenty minutes later, we were in love. It doesn't take long for an obsession to hit. By three thirty, we'd watched all of their music videos, listened to a couple of more songs, and I'd bought their album on iTunes. Then it was figuring out all their names, looking at pictures of them on Google images, and reading their biographies in the special edition album fun page. Our next step is to be able to pick out which guy is singing which part just by his voice. I'm already getting pretty good.

In case you're wondering, our favorites are Liam and Niall. Because they are so cute.

So after that little adventure, it was time to write our Greek and Roman mythology papers. It was hard to stay completely focused, since beautiful boys were singing love songs to me from my computer, but I got it done!!!! By 6:30!!!!! At that point, my other roommate Mikaela poked her head into my bedroom:

M: I noticed your light was on, and I figured you would still be awake.
E: Yep. Have you gone to sleep?
M: Nope! You?
E: Nope! What time is your earliest class tomorrow?
M: Nine o'clock. I'm gonna die!
E: Yep! See ya later!
M: Bye!

Yep. It definitely feels like end of the semester.

Speaking of which, I'm in my very last class right now. My very last class of freshman year. Wow. It's almost bittersweet...

No, that's not true. It's just sweet. I'M ALMOST DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight, we have a ward party with a slideshow and then (hopefully) we can set off Tangled lanterns. But it looks like it's about to rain. So we may not be able to do it again. I'm praying though! What a perfect end to the day that would be. PLEASE DON'T LET IT RAIN!!!!

Oh, back to my morning. I fell asleep around 6:30, and then I woke at 9. It was the first time I woke up at 9 in a very long time. And I woke up feeling good. I took a shower, started another paper, and then took a half hour nap. I felt a little groggy, until I put One Direction back on. I finished that paper, and danced around my room to get ready for my 12:00 class.

I made it to all my classes today, turned in all my papers, and I'm starting to feel a little loopy, but I am still so, so happy. I probably should take a nap before work so I don't die, but I don't want to go to sleep and crash. Let's see how long my adrenaline holds out, shall we?

For all of you people who are even more behind than I am, here is the song that has kept me going today:

So beautiful.

'Kay everybody, I am so, so close. I have to pack all my stuff, take my finals, and hug everybody goodbye. Geez, I'm really going to miss a lot of people. But I'm ready to go home. Actually, I'm going to England.

One more rant: This stupid boy band totally destroyed my Single Lady thing. I just want to be loved now. I hate it. I am really angry, but I'm too infatuated with them and their music to really care. They are so wonderful.

Love you all. So much. I also feel a little drunk.
Your dearest, truest friend, the lovely Princess Emily.
That's right, I'm a Princess, not a hobbit.

Happiness on April 10th

I took some Nyquil last night. I love Nyquil dreams. They're so much fun. I had another boyfriend last night. I'm pretty sure my subconscious is trying to tell me something. Silly subconscious, boyfriends are for people who enjoy the company of others!

On that note, my mom says I will never, ever have a relationship until I can learn how to need people. Now, I'm all for guys opening doors for me and picking up things that I drop and driving me around places (I always like a guy more when he's behind the wheel. I don't know why) but I love independence. I love me feeling like I can take care of myself. It really boosts my self-esteem, which is usually quite low (did you know that? I think it's common for girls to have low self-esteem. Which is why we like chocolate more, apparently. It makes us happy).

So here's my conundrum: I can either learn how rely on guys, and let them take care of me, and find love and all that stuff, OR I can keep doing my thing, become Miss Independent and able to fully take care of myself, and go live in my own apartment in New York. I'm so sick of people telling me I can't do things. "You can't ride the bus." "You can't get a moped or car." "You can't visit Europe." "You can't live by yourself." "You can't move to New York." Why can't you just give me a chance? Why can't you let me just enjoy life? Maybe I'll prove you wrong, and come out on top. Maybe something bad will happen. But the way I see it, just getting out of bed is dangerous. If I'm smart and I watch out for myself, and "make good choices," why can't I do all the wonderful I've ever wanted to do?

Sometimes we may feel like the world is small, but it really isn't. I've seen a lot of things in this country, but there are so many other adventures I've never had. I've never seen a Broadway play. I've never been to the Mall of America or across the Golden Gate Bridge. I've never been to Disney World, or Harry Potter World, which is criminal. And there are hundreds of other countries I haven't set foot in. Yes, I have lived lots of places. I've been to lots of museums and zoos and theme parks and plays and monuments, for which I'm very grateful. But I'm not even 20 years old yet. I'm not to spend the next 60 years reminiscing about the good days of my youth. I want to keep having amazing adventures, because there is so much to do in the world. Seize the day, right?

The above may not seem like happiness, but it's related. I have so much hope for the future. I trust myself. I'm very sure that Future Emily will not let me miss out on the wonder that is our Earth. When I think of how many beautiful things there are to see, how many interesting people with stories to tell, I just want to go. Go see it all, before it's gone. Or I'm gone.

I also want to fall in love. One day. Someone who wants me, more than anything. Who is "bewitched by me, body and soul." Who will take me to concerts and plays and movies and theme parks (one of my secret wishes is to go to Six Flags with a boyfriend/husband. I find it oddly romantic) and zoos and museums and musicals. Oh, and he has to be straight (I'm sure the two can co-exist...right?) Who will want to see the world with me. Even go backpacking around Europe with me. But most importantly, I need to love him too. "Only the deepest love can persuade me into matrimony."  I don't want to have to be talked into marriage, or weigh the pros and cons, or consider his proposal. I will never be happy unless I'm smitten, because that's the kind of person I am. I really don't have a happy medium. I love things or hate things. If I don't love or hate something, it doesn't really register. It is a splash of paint that has only the faintest, briefest, most forgettable contact with mine.

So yes, I like being single. I love the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I love independence, and I am not nearly ready to give it up. But one day...I want to be kissed. I want to be held. I want the most handsome man in the world to consider me the most beautiful woman in the world. It might not happen. I can accept that. Not everyone finds their Prince Charming. If I don't, I'm not going to let that stop me from experiencing life. Stop telling me what I can't do by myself, because the time may come when I HAVE to do things on my own. I won't have a choice.

My past was bright, my present is bright, and my future outshines the sun.

Don't hold me back, because no one, least of all me, has any idea what I'm capable of. I may surprise you yet.

Some actual good things about today: I had no classes, since Spanish is over, and my roommate's aunt and family took me out for ice cream. Sans the roommate. It was quite fun.

Uno más dia.
Emily <3

Happiness on April 9th

Today's happiness was a little bit dampened by the fact that I woke up sick. I feel gross. But there were still some good things!

Last night, I tried to make dear Eleanor proud. Imagine, if you will, driving a car. Easy enough. Now, imagine you only learned how to drive last summer. Okay, that's a good eight months of driving practice after you got your license, no big deal. Now imagine you've only driven once since starting college in September, and that was was a five-minute trip down a street you drove on every single day when you were in Driver's Ed. Quite a bit scarier, especially if you're a passenger. It was like learning how to drive all over again. But I didn't crash and I didn't get pulled over, (although one of the people with me in the car said that he felt like he was teaching me how to drive, and then he buckled his seat belt) but no one died! Moral of the story: I need to learn how to drive. For real. I feel like I can't be a fully functional adult if I can't even transport myself. Because driving is fun, and it gives you power.

Also, I love my job. When people hear that I work nights, they are always sympathetic and say "Oh I'm so sorry! I could never do that!" but the truth is your body adjusts to the hours, so that part isn't difficult, and it can be pretty fun to be in a building at night with just your boss and coworkers. ESPECIALLY if your boss and coworkers are amazing people. Which mine are. A couple of people I work with read this blog, and so I'm talking to you right now: You guys are the best. When I first came to school, I felt completely invisible, because there were so many perfect and talented people. I felt like there was no place for me. Maybe it's because having a job makes me feel like I have a purpose, or because we always have so much fun, but I feel...important...at work. Okay this is all weird and sappy, but it's true! It's not the most fun or fulfilling job, but I love it anyway, because I love you guys. And those of you who are leaving forever, I'm going to miss you. A whole lot. Those of you who are staying, we need to have a good time next year too. Hopefully the new employees will be fun. They have a lot to live up to, but I have faith. So, yeah. Being a janitor can be enjoyable if you make it enjoyable.

Like the discussion a couple of people and I had last night, about whether girls are prettier with short hair or long hair. Out of the seven guys I work with, only one guy said short hair was prettier. Are there any other guys out there who think the same? I want all of you reading this to find some more guys who think girls are prettier with short hair. There has to be a couple more, right?
Anyway, the discussion led to this really funny exchange, which I will now share with you:
Guy who likes short-haired girls: "Emily, you should cut your hair."
Guy who likes long-haired girls: "No, I don't think you'd look good with short hair."
Me: "I KNOW I wouldn't look good with short hair. And one time, I pulled it up into this bob thing, and my roommate told me, 'Emily, you should never cut your hair.'"
Guy who likes short-haired girls: "Well, you should listen to her, because your roommate isn't attracted to girls."
Me: "I sure hope not, because that would make things really weird in our room."

And there you have it. Except for the whole sick thing, it's been an okay day. I got some Jamba Juice and chased a boy for my friend so that she wouldn't have to break the Peacock Rule. He totally likes her back. Too bad he's going on a mission. Oh, premies. Watcha gonna do.

TWO DAYS OF CLASSES LEFT!!!! I need to start packing...and finish my homework. Oh well.
Emily <3

Oh one more thing. You know that song "Call Me, Maybe" that everyone has been obsessing about? Well I found this hilariously awesome music video that is probably the best thing I've ever seen (except for the Harry Potter "This Is War" video.) It shouldn't be the best thing ever, but it totally is. I feel so conflicted. Oh well, why fight it? Here it is: