Friday the 13th

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I HAVE BEEN AFFLICTED WITH THE BAD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding. It hasn't really been an unlucky day at all. So much for superstition.

Although, if I was superstitious, I would have great reason to fear. This is the Saga of the Broken Mirrors.

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up for church and freaked out. That's because when I sat up, instead of seeing myself in the mirror, I saw a wooden door. It's really disconcerting when you're expecting a mirror and one isn't there. It feels like the room shrinks. I looked at the ground, and there was my mirror. On the floor. Broken in two.

BAM. 7 years of bad luck.

I stuck the pieces back onto the door and figured I'd just tell my RA about the crack. Well, a couple of days later I walk into my room, and there's my mirror, in pieces all over the floor.

BAM. Another 7 years.

So I told my RA, and we gathered up the pieces and put them in a trash bag. I called maintenance, who sent me to the glass office, where I left a message saying that my mirror was broken.

After a little while, I stuck the full-length mirror I'd bought at the beginning of the year onto my door. A couple of days later, I was sitting in bed when that one fell, shattering, but keeping it's shape.

BAM. Another 7 years.

So I had a cracked mirror, that slowly fell to pieces over the next few weeks, until I finally tossed it yesterday.

The glass man called me back and left a message saying I need to fill out an order form with the Head RA. I should do that...

Moral of the story: the universe hates me. I have 21 years of bad luck. Although, since I broke my mirrors, I've had a few really good things happen. Like discovering One Direction! They are giving me the strength to make it through the next week. I got my family way into them as well. We will definitely have to have a party when I get home.

I've decided that my favorite song by them is "One Thing" (even though it's everybody's favorite), simply because I get chills every time Harry sings "You're my kryptonite." I just love his voice so much. I love them all. It's been a while since I've had a good obsession. It makes me happy. I'm listening to the album right now, as a matter of fact.

I love Harry's voice the best (although Zayn's [the dark one with the gorgeous eyelashes] is extremely impressive) but I think Liam is the best looking. And that vest? I swear, we girls are absolutely defenseless when faced with a well-dressed man. Speaking of which, here's a couple of things that make girls turn into little puddles of hopelessly-in-love goo:

1. Suits, or other dressy outfits (such as nice vests and blazers)
2. A gorgeous singing voice
3. When a guy puts his arm around her and strokes her upper arm
4. When a guy smells really, really good
5. Dimples
6. Noticing a really cute guy is checking her out (I guess that's really just a confidence booster, unless she has a crush on the guy. Then she melts)
7. Strong arms (I don't think it's just me)
8. When she sees a guy she likes, and when their eyes meet he can't help but flash a huge smile
9. Beautiful eyes (guys can have them. And they're attractive)
10. When a guy goes out of his way to help someone else, or be nice to someone, or cheer someone up. It's especially endearing when he's kind of a tough guy. Every lady wants a gentleman, but he can't be a pushover.

Note: these aren't hints that I'm wanting somebody to ask me out. I think this blog, and my general hostility towards dating (and guys) has pretty much killed any chance of making a guy like me any time in the near future. Maybe by next year I'll be mature and actually ready for a relationship, or at least some fun dates (oh gosh, "One Thing" just came on again and my stomach flipped. I freaking love this song.), and all the guys I know will be gone, so I can start over. Hopefully, if I do grow up over the summer, the guys next year won't have to know about my man-eater reputation. I really don't want to die alone, but I'm not a very nice person. And I can't flirt. That's what BYU needs! A class on flirting! We can call it Coquetry 101. We have marriage prep classes, and family life classes, but they don't have any classes for socially awkward people who are trying to get over their aversion towards dependence and needing people. Or we can have a recovery group: Single Ladies Anonymous. "My name is Emily and I hate dating." "Hi, Emily." Because as much as I love being independent, and as much as I've embraced the Single life...I do want to fall in love at some point. I just don't know how.


Also, all the wrong guys like me. Always.
But Liam, Harry, Niall...if you guys are ever single and in the area, give me a call, okay? I don't know I'm beautiful...

I'm young, free, and the world is at my feet. Americans live for about eighty years, right? That gives me plenty of time to figure out the dating thing. I can be happy and single for a little while longer. I have three life plans:
-stay single, move to New York and work at a publishing company
-get married
-spend the rest of my days living as a nomad in Europe, carrying my possessions on my back, picking up odd jobs, and walking from place to place.

This is my life.
My name is Emily, and I can't/won't/don't know how to date.
Or: My name is Emily, and I have ridiculously high expectations for my future companion.
Or: My name is Emily, and I have the exact right expectations for my future companion, I just have to meet those expectations in myself, because awesome guys deserve awesome girls.
Or: My name is Emily, and I'm a blog-a-holic.
Yeah, that last one sounds about right.

Adios, amigos. I gotta study for my Book of Mormon test.
Emily Lovegood <3