First Year of College: Check!

I am writing these final words of wisdom while sitting on my big comfy couch (it's one of those couches with a chaise lounge, so it's basically a bed, while still being a couch) in my media room, watching Friends on our big-screen TV as my baby kitties wander in and out of the room. I realize this complete and utter bliss will not last long, so I am enjoying it while I can.


I have been considering the material of this blog post for several days now. This has to be quite fantastic, as it is the last one of the year. How can I possibly sum up this year? It's been a crazy ride. As Megara (her friends call her Meg. At least they would, if she had any friends) would say, "It's been a real slice." I made some life-long friends, some very bad decisions (although I never went to the Honor Code office! You know that's right), and some yummy meals on my stove. I had good times, bad times, tired times, lazy times, productive times, fun times, boring times, the best of times, the worst of times...


Digressions and random quotes aside, it's been a heck of year. However, BYU did not quite live up to my expectations. I mean, I was in Provo for eight months, and I'm not married yet! Whatever happened to "a ring by spring or your money back?" I feel extremely cheated. JUST KIDDING.


Serious time now. I promise. At least for a bit. I made it, guys. I wasn't sure I was going to, those last couple weeks. It was tough, but I DID IT. I survived. And now I'm back home. I finished my freshman year of college.


WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh I am so relieved right now I can't even tell you! However, with the close of the year comes the close of many other things. Including this section of the blog. My focus has obviously been the world of BYU dating, from the eyes of a freshman, and this summer and (hopefully) next year, I won't have to worry about any of that. I love this blog too much to let go of it entirely, but I think I need to take a little hiatus. I want to return to my writing with a new lease on life; to write from the perspective of a slightly-more-mature college sophomore. I hope you understand. If I have something to talk about this summer, I will. You all know how much I love to talk, especially about myself.


For right now, for my absolute final blog post of freshman year, I am going to reflect a bit on what I learned this year, and give my definitive, unquestionable, and completely correct opinion on everything important, starting with (big surprise)...


RELATIONSHIPS!!!!
-Freshman, BYU relationships, to be more precise. Quick show of hands--who got into a relationship this year with somebody at school? All right, that's the majority of my ward. And how many lasted until the end of the year? Watch those hands fall! Sure, a few people actually developed a close, healthy relationship, but it was quite amusing to watch so many couples come and go. I, too, fell prey to the freshman dating frenzy, and participated in a 6-day Misadventure that was, undoubtedly, a bad idea.
Here's what happened: I met a guy in January. We got along really well, and I started to think he might like me, and I started to think I might like him, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship or rush into anything. Too bad I found out that he liked another girl too, and got super jealous. I'm a little bit competitive, and I just had to win him over. Well, I did, and I soon realized to my horror that I should've stuck to my original plan, because the jealousy had basically wiped away all of my former feelings of affection. However, I did the right thing and ended it as soon as possible, instead of drawing out the relationship just because I didn't want to be alone. I know, I was kind of an idiot during February. Thankfully, I believe I've recovered from that brief bout of insanity.


When I came to BYU, I expected to go on lots of dates. I mean, that's what you do at BYU, right? That's kind of what it's famous for. That and early marriage. Unfortunately, I underestimated my anti-dating power. I'm just not one of those girls who goes on lots of fun dates! Nor am I one of those girls who has boyfriends. I am, and always will be, a Single Lady. Does that mean I will always be alone? No, it does not. I realize that my attitude toward dating does not endear me to the opposite sex, nor does  the assertions I've made in this blog. I think that next year I won't try to push this blog, because I do want to start dating somebody, someday. On the other hand, only a super brave and determined young would attempt to go after me after reading my hostile blog posts, and that's the kind of guy I might be able to form a lasting relationship with.


It's like the attitude of Ryan Gosling in the Notebook, which I watched for the first time a couple of weeks ago. He told Rachel McAdams, "So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day." That's what I want. I think that's what every girl wants. We just want to be wanted. Nobody wants to be sloppy seconds, or an afterthought. And I promise you, when I find the guy who wants me that badly, I will do my best to fight to keep him. 


(On a related note, my girl cat is currently grooming my boy cat. This is a service I cannot offer to any prospective beaux. I apologize.)


My advice? Very, very few BYU freshman relationships last for any significant amount of time. When the Exposure Effect takes over, sanity and reason go out the window. This semester, a friend who had a short-lived girlfriend apologized to me for his criticism after I randomly stopped liking my crush from first semester. He, too, completely stopped liking this girl, and realized that maybe I wasn't crazy after all. It's just what happens when you become romantically involved with someone you spend all your time with.


BYU Freshman dating can be very rewarding, or a huge pain in the butt. Proceed with caution.


Secondly, let's talk about another favorite subject,
ME AND MY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!
-Kidding, kidding. I have had some ups and downs this year, but when it comes down to it, I was just suffering from stress, doubt, low self-esteem, and fear of the future. I struggled a lot, and had a little breakdown during March, but I think I've come out of it stronger. I'm happy now, and I've learned some things about myself:
1) I say "I can't" way too much. "I can't" have a boyfriend because I scare boys away. "I can't" be in the ward talent show because I have nothing to perform. "I can't" make friends because I automatically assume people find me annoying and abrasive and so I push them away. I'm my own biggest critic, and that needs to change. If I'm going to make it in this world, I need to stop holding myself back. I have to start saying "I will." "I will" make friends. "I will" be a nice, positive person. "I will" make it to New York City, and San Francisco, and London and Paris and Rome and Venice and New Zealand. "I will" have a happy life, whether married, single, or whatever, because that's my choice. I struggle to keep sight of that some times, but I am going to stop dragging myself down.
2) That leads me to the second: I have had no trials in my life. I found this book called How to Be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life. Audrey was an amazing woman, and she lived through the Nazi occupation of Holland. The strength she developed in order to survive her circumstances allowed her to stand strong for the rest of her life and make something of herself. She was one of the most beloved people in history, but good fortune didn't fall into her lap. Her father abandoned the family, the war left them penniless, many of her friends died, but she worked so hard to make a life for herself, and it paid off. I've never gone through anything difficult. I've led a pretty charmed life. This year, I worried that I'm not being tested, or growing or progressing, and that I was going to stay a little caterpillar forever, instead of blooming into a butterfly. However, I quickly realized that my biggest trial, the test that will make me so much stronger, is daily life. My challenge is overcoming my laziness and apathy to grow into the kind of person I'm capable of becoming. Again, my own attitude is the thing holding me back from reaching my full potential.
3) I do stand out. I was so scared that I would be completely invisible when I came to BYU; that everyone else would be nothing more than a better version of myself. Thankfully, that was not entirely the case. I may be a tiny fish in a vast ocean, but I'm still special, at least in a couple of ways: 
-I have really, really long eyelashes. I hope I don't sound conceited, but I am so, so grateful for them
-I accept my status as a Single Lady, instead of praying for a date on Friday. I don't like dates (oops, sorry. I promise I won't say that anymore after this post. I really am trying to be better. But I'm still not going to delete that one because it's true. Sorry.)
-My passions (cough *obsessions* cough). Okay, this really isn't a good thing to be known for, but I'm proud of how much I love Harry Potter. I am proud of how much I love cats. I am proud of how much I love Disney, and I'm especially proud of my rockin' Disney Princess blog post. Go read that right now, if you haven't already. I'm not ashamed of the things I love, and I don't care if people think I'm crazy. So there. 
I often feel invisible, and like I don't really add anything to the world, but I know that's not true. I'm pretty sure I am important, even if I never do anything super important. I may never be as successful and beautiful and wonderful as Audrey Hepburn, but I'm trying every day to follow her example of grace and class, and hopefully I can make the world a tiny bit better.


And this is just going on and on, isn't it? Oh, what else is new. I write long posts! Which brings me to my next topic...
MY FABULOUS PRINCESS BLOG!!!!!
-Oh, darling blogspot.com, I cannot praise you enough. The outlet for my frustration and creativity, my own little corner of the Internet where I could rant my heart out. When I started writing this blog, everyone was dismissive: "You're starting a blog? Seriously? That's so 2004." Still, I went with it. And what a good idea that was! A guy in my ward read my "Mating Season" post, and came to talk to me about it. Slowly, my roommate and I grew very close to him, and then his roommates, until we were all very good friends (and occasionally dated. But that's all over with). I'm not trying to be ridiculously vain, but this little blog had a huge impact on my freshman year, and I do think it had a part in the development of some of my friendships. After all, I poured my heart and soul and personality into this blog, so you readers have a pretty good idea of who I am. I'm not very good at keeping secrets about myself, or holding back what I'm thinking. Obviously.
Anyway, I think this blog kept me going second semester. Seriously. Suddenly, I had followers. There were people who cared about what I had to say, who enjoyed reading what I wrote. I can't say enough how good that felt. You, the people reading this right now, the people who told me "I love reading your blog! Don't stop posting!" that's how I got through this last semester. It gave me a purpose, made me feel like I was having an impact on the world. My blog made people happy! And that made me happy. Which helped me make it through the year. 
So, thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks for encouraging me. Thanks for making me feel like I could add something to the world. That I mattered. 
-My family, especially my Aunt Bonnie and my grandma, who brag to all their friends about me, and told me that I was talented. Oh, and aunt Beth, who (along with Bonnie) told me I could do New York. That's the goal, guys. Oh, and mom. You like my blog, right mom?
-My coworkers, who are some of the most amazing people I met at school. I really will miss you guys. Good luck with everything. Thanks for reading, and I didn't really mind all the short jokes. Also, I didn't actually cry Thursday night, or any time during the weekend, actually. It was a little disappointing. My tear ducts chose the saddest weekend of the year to fail me. Lame.
-All my other friends at school who read this. And actually, I feel like I should just give a big blanket "I love you" to all my friends, readers or not, particularly my roommates. Monica, Mikaela, Brooke, Lindsay, Sierra: thank you for a fun year. Monica, Mikaela, Brooke--let's have a party next year too, all right?
-Friends from home who read this. I'm so excited to see you again. Y'all rock. I'm so looking forward to this summer!!!!!
-And thanks to anyone else who reads this, including you Russians and Lithuanians. I hope you like what I had to say.


If not, whatever. I like saying it!


What a year. It was good, but now it's over. Let the summer begin. Both of my cats are on my bed, the air is heavy and damp (instead of nasty, dry Utah air), and I'm ready to have a great summer.


I want to leave you with some big impressive quote or something to wrap up this year, but it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm exhausted.


Oh, wait a second, I have something. Here's that speech Aragorn gave to the men of Gondor before they fought the battle at the Gates of Mordor in Return of the King. That's always a good one:

"The day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of woes, and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear, on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!"

Stand, readers of this blog! We have our own battles to fight, against an enemy just as awful, so let's not forget who we are, where we came from, and where we're going. I feel like I should say some more inspirational stuff, but I'm really tired. 

I love you.

I'll see you all again, one day. 

I hope you've enjoyed reading this blog as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Summer break, here I come.

Emily <3

Friday the 13th

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I HAVE BEEN AFFLICTED WITH THE BAD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding. It hasn't really been an unlucky day at all. So much for superstition.

Although, if I was superstitious, I would have great reason to fear. This is the Saga of the Broken Mirrors.

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up for church and freaked out. That's because when I sat up, instead of seeing myself in the mirror, I saw a wooden door. It's really disconcerting when you're expecting a mirror and one isn't there. It feels like the room shrinks. I looked at the ground, and there was my mirror. On the floor. Broken in two.

BAM. 7 years of bad luck.

I stuck the pieces back onto the door and figured I'd just tell my RA about the crack. Well, a couple of days later I walk into my room, and there's my mirror, in pieces all over the floor.

BAM. Another 7 years.

So I told my RA, and we gathered up the pieces and put them in a trash bag. I called maintenance, who sent me to the glass office, where I left a message saying that my mirror was broken.

After a little while, I stuck the full-length mirror I'd bought at the beginning of the year onto my door. A couple of days later, I was sitting in bed when that one fell, shattering, but keeping it's shape.

BAM. Another 7 years.

So I had a cracked mirror, that slowly fell to pieces over the next few weeks, until I finally tossed it yesterday.

The glass man called me back and left a message saying I need to fill out an order form with the Head RA. I should do that...

Moral of the story: the universe hates me. I have 21 years of bad luck. Although, since I broke my mirrors, I've had a few really good things happen. Like discovering One Direction! They are giving me the strength to make it through the next week. I got my family way into them as well. We will definitely have to have a party when I get home.

I've decided that my favorite song by them is "One Thing" (even though it's everybody's favorite), simply because I get chills every time Harry sings "You're my kryptonite." I just love his voice so much. I love them all. It's been a while since I've had a good obsession. It makes me happy. I'm listening to the album right now, as a matter of fact.

I love Harry's voice the best (although Zayn's [the dark one with the gorgeous eyelashes] is extremely impressive) but I think Liam is the best looking. And that vest? I swear, we girls are absolutely defenseless when faced with a well-dressed man. Speaking of which, here's a couple of things that make girls turn into little puddles of hopelessly-in-love goo:

1. Suits, or other dressy outfits (such as nice vests and blazers)
2. A gorgeous singing voice
3. When a guy puts his arm around her and strokes her upper arm
4. When a guy smells really, really good
5. Dimples
6. Noticing a really cute guy is checking her out (I guess that's really just a confidence booster, unless she has a crush on the guy. Then she melts)
7. Strong arms (I don't think it's just me)
8. When she sees a guy she likes, and when their eyes meet he can't help but flash a huge smile
9. Beautiful eyes (guys can have them. And they're attractive)
10. When a guy goes out of his way to help someone else, or be nice to someone, or cheer someone up. It's especially endearing when he's kind of a tough guy. Every lady wants a gentleman, but he can't be a pushover.

Note: these aren't hints that I'm wanting somebody to ask me out. I think this blog, and my general hostility towards dating (and guys) has pretty much killed any chance of making a guy like me any time in the near future. Maybe by next year I'll be mature and actually ready for a relationship, or at least some fun dates (oh gosh, "One Thing" just came on again and my stomach flipped. I freaking love this song.), and all the guys I know will be gone, so I can start over. Hopefully, if I do grow up over the summer, the guys next year won't have to know about my man-eater reputation. I really don't want to die alone, but I'm not a very nice person. And I can't flirt. That's what BYU needs! A class on flirting! We can call it Coquetry 101. We have marriage prep classes, and family life classes, but they don't have any classes for socially awkward people who are trying to get over their aversion towards dependence and needing people. Or we can have a recovery group: Single Ladies Anonymous. "My name is Emily and I hate dating." "Hi, Emily." Because as much as I love being independent, and as much as I've embraced the Single life...I do want to fall in love at some point. I just don't know how.


Also, all the wrong guys like me. Always.
But Liam, Harry, Niall...if you guys are ever single and in the area, give me a call, okay? I don't know I'm beautiful...

I'm young, free, and the world is at my feet. Americans live for about eighty years, right? That gives me plenty of time to figure out the dating thing. I can be happy and single for a little while longer. I have three life plans:
-stay single, move to New York and work at a publishing company
-get married
-spend the rest of my days living as a nomad in Europe, carrying my possessions on my back, picking up odd jobs, and walking from place to place.

This is my life.
My name is Emily, and I can't/won't/don't know how to date.
Or: My name is Emily, and I have ridiculously high expectations for my future companion.
Or: My name is Emily, and I have the exact right expectations for my future companion, I just have to meet those expectations in myself, because awesome guys deserve awesome girls.
Or: My name is Emily, and I'm a blog-a-holic.
Yeah, that last one sounds about right.

Adios, amigos. I gotta study for my Book of Mormon test.
Emily Lovegood <3

Happiness on April 11th

I am very, very, very happy today.

Like ridiculously happy.

Why am I so happy? A variety of things.

Last night, I came home from work at 1:40. I'm usually happy after work, because I love my coworkers and my job and stuff. Monica was in the kitchen watching the latest How I Met Your Mother (which made me angry because things aren't turning out the way I want them to.) After she finished we were just talking in the kitchen, when she decided to look up this band everybody and their dog has been obsessing about. We'd seen a couple of videos, and were mildly impressed, but it required some further research.

She discovered that they'd performed on the Nickelodeon TV show iCarly, and the episode in question was available to watch on YouTube. Twenty minutes later, we were in love. It doesn't take long for an obsession to hit. By three thirty, we'd watched all of their music videos, listened to a couple of more songs, and I'd bought their album on iTunes. Then it was figuring out all their names, looking at pictures of them on Google images, and reading their biographies in the special edition album fun page. Our next step is to be able to pick out which guy is singing which part just by his voice. I'm already getting pretty good.

In case you're wondering, our favorites are Liam and Niall. Because they are so cute.

So after that little adventure, it was time to write our Greek and Roman mythology papers. It was hard to stay completely focused, since beautiful boys were singing love songs to me from my computer, but I got it done!!!! By 6:30!!!!! At that point, my other roommate Mikaela poked her head into my bedroom:

M: I noticed your light was on, and I figured you would still be awake.
E: Yep. Have you gone to sleep?
M: Nope! You?
E: Nope! What time is your earliest class tomorrow?
M: Nine o'clock. I'm gonna die!
E: Yep! See ya later!
M: Bye!

Yep. It definitely feels like end of the semester.

Speaking of which, I'm in my very last class right now. My very last class of freshman year. Wow. It's almost bittersweet...

No, that's not true. It's just sweet. I'M ALMOST DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight, we have a ward party with a slideshow and then (hopefully) we can set off Tangled lanterns. But it looks like it's about to rain. So we may not be able to do it again. I'm praying though! What a perfect end to the day that would be. PLEASE DON'T LET IT RAIN!!!!

Oh, back to my morning. I fell asleep around 6:30, and then I woke at 9. It was the first time I woke up at 9 in a very long time. And I woke up feeling good. I took a shower, started another paper, and then took a half hour nap. I felt a little groggy, until I put One Direction back on. I finished that paper, and danced around my room to get ready for my 12:00 class.

I made it to all my classes today, turned in all my papers, and I'm starting to feel a little loopy, but I am still so, so happy. I probably should take a nap before work so I don't die, but I don't want to go to sleep and crash. Let's see how long my adrenaline holds out, shall we?

For all of you people who are even more behind than I am, here is the song that has kept me going today:

So beautiful.

'Kay everybody, I am so, so close. I have to pack all my stuff, take my finals, and hug everybody goodbye. Geez, I'm really going to miss a lot of people. But I'm ready to go home. Actually, I'm going to England.

One more rant: This stupid boy band totally destroyed my Single Lady thing. I just want to be loved now. I hate it. I am really angry, but I'm too infatuated with them and their music to really care. They are so wonderful.

Love you all. So much. I also feel a little drunk.
Your dearest, truest friend, the lovely Princess Emily.
That's right, I'm a Princess, not a hobbit.

Happiness on April 10th

I took some Nyquil last night. I love Nyquil dreams. They're so much fun. I had another boyfriend last night. I'm pretty sure my subconscious is trying to tell me something. Silly subconscious, boyfriends are for people who enjoy the company of others!

On that note, my mom says I will never, ever have a relationship until I can learn how to need people. Now, I'm all for guys opening doors for me and picking up things that I drop and driving me around places (I always like a guy more when he's behind the wheel. I don't know why) but I love independence. I love me feeling like I can take care of myself. It really boosts my self-esteem, which is usually quite low (did you know that? I think it's common for girls to have low self-esteem. Which is why we like chocolate more, apparently. It makes us happy).

So here's my conundrum: I can either learn how rely on guys, and let them take care of me, and find love and all that stuff, OR I can keep doing my thing, become Miss Independent and able to fully take care of myself, and go live in my own apartment in New York. I'm so sick of people telling me I can't do things. "You can't ride the bus." "You can't get a moped or car." "You can't visit Europe." "You can't live by yourself." "You can't move to New York." Why can't you just give me a chance? Why can't you let me just enjoy life? Maybe I'll prove you wrong, and come out on top. Maybe something bad will happen. But the way I see it, just getting out of bed is dangerous. If I'm smart and I watch out for myself, and "make good choices," why can't I do all the wonderful I've ever wanted to do?

Sometimes we may feel like the world is small, but it really isn't. I've seen a lot of things in this country, but there are so many other adventures I've never had. I've never seen a Broadway play. I've never been to the Mall of America or across the Golden Gate Bridge. I've never been to Disney World, or Harry Potter World, which is criminal. And there are hundreds of other countries I haven't set foot in. Yes, I have lived lots of places. I've been to lots of museums and zoos and theme parks and plays and monuments, for which I'm very grateful. But I'm not even 20 years old yet. I'm not to spend the next 60 years reminiscing about the good days of my youth. I want to keep having amazing adventures, because there is so much to do in the world. Seize the day, right?

The above may not seem like happiness, but it's related. I have so much hope for the future. I trust myself. I'm very sure that Future Emily will not let me miss out on the wonder that is our Earth. When I think of how many beautiful things there are to see, how many interesting people with stories to tell, I just want to go. Go see it all, before it's gone. Or I'm gone.

I also want to fall in love. One day. Someone who wants me, more than anything. Who is "bewitched by me, body and soul." Who will take me to concerts and plays and movies and theme parks (one of my secret wishes is to go to Six Flags with a boyfriend/husband. I find it oddly romantic) and zoos and museums and musicals. Oh, and he has to be straight (I'm sure the two can co-exist...right?) Who will want to see the world with me. Even go backpacking around Europe with me. But most importantly, I need to love him too. "Only the deepest love can persuade me into matrimony."  I don't want to have to be talked into marriage, or weigh the pros and cons, or consider his proposal. I will never be happy unless I'm smitten, because that's the kind of person I am. I really don't have a happy medium. I love things or hate things. If I don't love or hate something, it doesn't really register. It is a splash of paint that has only the faintest, briefest, most forgettable contact with mine.

So yes, I like being single. I love the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I love independence, and I am not nearly ready to give it up. But one day...I want to be kissed. I want to be held. I want the most handsome man in the world to consider me the most beautiful woman in the world. It might not happen. I can accept that. Not everyone finds their Prince Charming. If I don't, I'm not going to let that stop me from experiencing life. Stop telling me what I can't do by myself, because the time may come when I HAVE to do things on my own. I won't have a choice.

My past was bright, my present is bright, and my future outshines the sun.

Don't hold me back, because no one, least of all me, has any idea what I'm capable of. I may surprise you yet.

Some actual good things about today: I had no classes, since Spanish is over, and my roommate's aunt and family took me out for ice cream. Sans the roommate. It was quite fun.

Uno más dia.
Emily <3

Happiness on April 9th

Today's happiness was a little bit dampened by the fact that I woke up sick. I feel gross. But there were still some good things!

Last night, I tried to make dear Eleanor proud. Imagine, if you will, driving a car. Easy enough. Now, imagine you only learned how to drive last summer. Okay, that's a good eight months of driving practice after you got your license, no big deal. Now imagine you've only driven once since starting college in September, and that was was a five-minute trip down a street you drove on every single day when you were in Driver's Ed. Quite a bit scarier, especially if you're a passenger. It was like learning how to drive all over again. But I didn't crash and I didn't get pulled over, (although one of the people with me in the car said that he felt like he was teaching me how to drive, and then he buckled his seat belt) but no one died! Moral of the story: I need to learn how to drive. For real. I feel like I can't be a fully functional adult if I can't even transport myself. Because driving is fun, and it gives you power.

Also, I love my job. When people hear that I work nights, they are always sympathetic and say "Oh I'm so sorry! I could never do that!" but the truth is your body adjusts to the hours, so that part isn't difficult, and it can be pretty fun to be in a building at night with just your boss and coworkers. ESPECIALLY if your boss and coworkers are amazing people. Which mine are. A couple of people I work with read this blog, and so I'm talking to you right now: You guys are the best. When I first came to school, I felt completely invisible, because there were so many perfect and talented people. I felt like there was no place for me. Maybe it's because having a job makes me feel like I have a purpose, or because we always have so much fun, but I feel...important...at work. Okay this is all weird and sappy, but it's true! It's not the most fun or fulfilling job, but I love it anyway, because I love you guys. And those of you who are leaving forever, I'm going to miss you. A whole lot. Those of you who are staying, we need to have a good time next year too. Hopefully the new employees will be fun. They have a lot to live up to, but I have faith. So, yeah. Being a janitor can be enjoyable if you make it enjoyable.

Like the discussion a couple of people and I had last night, about whether girls are prettier with short hair or long hair. Out of the seven guys I work with, only one guy said short hair was prettier. Are there any other guys out there who think the same? I want all of you reading this to find some more guys who think girls are prettier with short hair. There has to be a couple more, right?
Anyway, the discussion led to this really funny exchange, which I will now share with you:
Guy who likes short-haired girls: "Emily, you should cut your hair."
Guy who likes long-haired girls: "No, I don't think you'd look good with short hair."
Me: "I KNOW I wouldn't look good with short hair. And one time, I pulled it up into this bob thing, and my roommate told me, 'Emily, you should never cut your hair.'"
Guy who likes short-haired girls: "Well, you should listen to her, because your roommate isn't attracted to girls."
Me: "I sure hope not, because that would make things really weird in our room."

And there you have it. Except for the whole sick thing, it's been an okay day. I got some Jamba Juice and chased a boy for my friend so that she wouldn't have to break the Peacock Rule. He totally likes her back. Too bad he's going on a mission. Oh, premies. Watcha gonna do.

TWO DAYS OF CLASSES LEFT!!!! I need to start packing...and finish my homework. Oh well.
Emily <3

Oh one more thing. You know that song "Call Me, Maybe" that everyone has been obsessing about? Well I found this hilariously awesome music video that is probably the best thing I've ever seen (except for the Harry Potter "This Is War" video.) It shouldn't be the best thing ever, but it totally is. I feel so conflicted. Oh well, why fight it? Here it is:

Happiness on April 8th.

First, going to grandma's house and seeing all of her animals. She has:

A big fat sheep named Lambchops

Her husband, a grumpy old turkey named Christmas

The lovely Mr. and Mrs. Duck

A few invisible chickens

An ADORABLE kitty-cat named Percy (after the Greek hero Perseus. And Percy Jackson. Who is also named after the Greek hero Perseus.)

 A ridiculously beautiful and friendly Pomeranian named Pascha

Also an African Gray Parrot named Sassy and some baby chicks that I forgot to get pictures of. Next time. Sassy's kind of scary because she likes to bite, but she always lets me pet her head. It's really fun to pet a parrot's head.

So, as the saying goes, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Or some such thing. Oh, someone is singing "Call Me, Maybe" in our lobby. I wonder who it is.

Oh they are serenading someone. Anyway, yeah, it was good to take a break from college, because now all my friends are happy to see me and I love them even more because I missed them! I wonder if I'll actually be sad to be home. Hmmm...

One more exciting piece of news, that happened about half an hour ago. I got engaged! He proposed after Ward Prayer with a cupcake. It's kind of an inside joke. But you know how every time a girl gets engaged she posts a million pictures of the ring on Facebook? Here's my version:

And thus concludes this day's happy things.

Happy Easter everyone! Remember the real reason for the season! That should be enough to make anyone happy!!!!!!!

May those who dance on your grave get cramps in their feet. 

Emily <3

How to Survive Life (Unless you're a penguin)

There are some awful, horrible, and frustrating things in this world. Things that can drive you absolutely crazy and make you wonder why you had to born as a human being on this planet at this time. Sometimes, it's the smallest things that make you feel like this. Things like:

-People who abuse children and pets. Both are innocent, defenseless, and so loving. I don't even think I can elaborate without going on to a pages-long rant about how people who are cruel to the children and animals under their care ought to be banished to one of Dante's circles of hell (I actually did write a paper on this for Humanities.) Suffice it to say, if you mistreat your child, starve your pet, or make either feel unwanted, unloved, and worthless, I will find you, and make you pay.

-People who lie and cheat and do bad things just for the pleasure of doing bad things. Like the people who go to BYU, knowing that they're going to BYU, knowing that it's a church owned school and that there is a strict Honor Code, and yet do things like wear their nose ring on campus. I'm not judging people who have a nose ring, what you do with your body is your business; I'm saying that you knew what you were getting into. Be an honorable person, not only because you signed a sheet of paper, but because it will make the world a more decent place.

-Mormon guys who assume that bragging about how spiritual they are will get them more dates/Mormons guy who think that acting nonchalant and critical about the church will make them cool and attractive. Like we had this Mr. Universe-type competition for my ward, and nearly every single guy got up on the stage and, instead of answering the questions they were asked or trying to make us laugh, waxed on and on about their "future eternal companion" and how strong their testimonies were. There is a time and place to be overly spiritual, and it's not at a fun and light-hearted event. I just want a guy who doesn't feel the need to brag OR criticize, but can just quietly serve and do what he's supposed to, not in order to find a wife, but because it's the right thing to do. A guy who I just KNOW has a strong testimony because of the way he lives his life and how he performs his church duties is the one for me.

-This March of the Penguins movie that I'm watching for Bio. It's so dramatic. Basically I'm learning about all the different ways penguins can die. Obviously, all these penguins aren't going to die, Morgan Freeman (the narrator), because the species continues doesn't it? Oh, and it bothers me very greatly how like every nature movie ever portrays the hunters and predators as evil. It's not like a lion wakes up one morning and decides, "Hey, I'm sick of grass. I wonder what zebra tastes like?" They HAVE to eat meat because it's the way they were made. According to dear Mr. Freeman, because the leopard seal was starving and ate a penguin (a pregnant penguin, at that) it's evil. Propaganda. That's all it is. I'm going to go eat some steak now. You know why? BECAUSE I NEED IRON AND PROTEIN TO SURVIVE.

-And of course, war, prejudice, genocide, murder, abuse, disease, pain, suffering, hunger, torture, fear, and hatred of Harry Potter. These are really bad too.

I think I've made it pretty clear in my day-to-day interactions with nearly all of the people reading this that I've been in a bit of a foul mood recently. I'm suffering from an extremely bad case of restlessness. And irritation, as the above rant proves. So how do I shake off my frustration? How can we all survive in this world of so much evil? Well...

According to mom, put on lipgloss and smile.
According to my dysfunctional journal, embrace your neuroses.
According to Mark Twain, cheer someone else up.
According to my aunt (and mom), eat chocolate.
According to Charles Schulz, stand with your head held high.
According to my grandma's dog, treat every stranger like your new best friend.
According to my grandma's cat, take long naps in the sun.
According to Eleanor Roosevelt, do one thing every day that scares you (I shot a gun today.)
According to Coco Chanel, look pretty. You can't face the world if you feel ugly and unconfident.
According to me, take some time off from life and hug a cat. (That's what I've been doing this weekend on Grandma's farm.)

There are three days left of classes, and a week and a half left of school. I think I can do this guys. Can I hire somebody to follow me around for the next two weeks with a speaker blasting Eye of the Tiger, so I can feel like a winner? That would really help.

I'm also making a pledge to write a short blog post every day for the rest of the semester, sharing something that happened that day that made me happy. You don't have to read it, I'm just trying to improve my mood, and I think that will help. An online gratitude journal, if you will, so I can share my progress with others.

(Oh my gosh I just got way more into this movie. BABY PENGUINS ARE DOING CUTE BABY PENGUIN THINGS!!!!! THEY'RE SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!!!)
Except...they just died. Oh my. Good feeling gone. Did you know penguins try to steal other's chicks if their's dies? Oh, and now the chicks are getting eaten. What. The. Heck. This movie sucks. I may be on the predator's side, but do I have to watch the babies get eaten? I have a heart, you know.

On that note, I will leave you all. Hmm, is there a good quote that applies? I love quotes. "In my not-so-humble opinion, words are our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of inflicting great injury, and remedying it." (I'll have you know I knew all but one word of that quote from off the top of my head. Every day I'm Dumble-in')
Sure, that applies. Words are power.
Good night and God bless.
Her Royal Highness Emilia Rachelle Halteh Renaldi, Princess of Genovia. <3

Boys, Boys, Boys

As promised.

Two nights ago at work, this exchange occurred between a friend and me:
Friend: I've read your blog, you like being single!
Me: Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to die alone!!!!

Ladies, the sad truth is that boys are attractive. And in my quest to enjoy my Single Lady time, my own subconscious is my biggest enemy. I'll be going along fine, and then all of a sudden I'll have an extremely vivid dream that I have a boyfriend. It's happened twice this semester. The major feeling I get from the dream is a sense of unity, like we are there for each other, no matter what. I wake up, remember that I don't have a boyfriend, and immediately start longing for that emotional connection that I can apparently only establish in dreams. It's not fun.

To make matters worse, I recently got a sliver of a hint of a possibility that a boy might actually be maybe planning to ask me on a date perhaps. I was completely fine with being totally dateless for a month and a half, but throw me a sliver of a hint and my mind is lost in a sea of wishful thinking and growing attraction. Blech.

What I'm trying to get at is that as happy as you are with your single life of guy friends, meaningless flirtations, and eating ice cream straight from the carton because you don't care what anyone thinks, boys have a way of creeping back. As Single Ladies, sometimes a crush, a dream, or even a sliver of a hint of a possibility make us feel for desperate for that wonderful emotional bond we don't often get to enjoy. If desperation strikes, don't do anything hasty! Remember, the dating world is different for you. It's not as easy as boy-meets-girl, boy-likes-girl, girl-likes-boy, boy-and-girl-start-dating. If you feel the attraction starting to rise, STOP. Think about what you're doing. Are you really ready to act on these feelings? There are three things to watch for before you dive head-first back into the dating world.

1. The Peacock Rule
Sometimes when we like a guy, we want to chase him down, make sure that he knows we like him. This is bad. Very bad. When approaching relationships, be like the peacock: The male has a gorgeous and showy plumage, because he has to convince the female peacock to be his mate. She chooses whether or not she wants to be with him. Human dating should be the same. The guy sees a girl he likes, and tries to win her affections. As thrilling as the hunt may be, ladies, it's not worth it. For one, it savors strongly of desperation. For another, what do you do if you capture him, but then find out your prey is not as appealing as expected? (That was a kind of creepy metaphor, I apologize.) This has actually happened to me twice this year. Through various methods, which I will further elaborate through a private message if you are very curious, I got guys to like me, only to discover that I really didn't like them that much.
Don't chase boys. Make them chase you. It will make you appreciate them much more, because you'll know that out of all the girls around, they have chosen to go for you. Flirt, make yourself attractive, but let him make the first move.

2. The Exposure Effect
This one is pretty self-explanatory. And it's very common. I have liked a lot of guys this year. And most of these crushes developed because I spent a great deal of time with a group of guys, and because I spent so much time with them, they began to be extremely attractive. Thinking about it, this is how almost all of the crushes over the course of my life happened. If you have a lot of guy friends that you hang out with regularly (and as a Single Lady, I'm sure you do), WATCH OUT. Because you WILL start to like one of them. At least one of them. It's psychological. When your feelings develop, before you do anything else, think to yourself "Do I only like him because I'm with him all the time? Or would I still be mad for him if we were just casual friends?" I'm not saying that all crushes on guy friends are fake, but you need to keep the Exposure Effect in mind before succumbing to the crush. Maybe he's a good friend because you really are romantically compatible, but usually, your mind tricks you into thinking he's romantically compatible because he's a good friend. The mind plays many, many tricks.

3. The Weird Turn-on
Nearly all girls have something that can really make or break our feelings for a guy. For me, it's the arms. I absolutely love it when guys have really nice, muscular arms. I find it ridiculously attractive. Last semester, I actually developed two crushes because I got a good look at their biceps. (Okay, I really liked their personalities beforehand, but it was the arms that sealed the deal.) Another friend of mine really likes guys who look good running, and can't even consider marrying a guy who runs like a dork. Most of us have these little quirks, these things we just find ridiculously attractive. Listen to them. If you start liking a guy who doesn't possess the thing you find attractive, don't pursue it! (This is why you should follow the Peacock Rule. Letting him doing the chasing gives you time to make sure your feelings are real.) It may seem really shallow, to let these weird little turn-ons or turn-offs control who you date, but it is what it is. Attraction is a psychological and biological experience, and it's best to just go with it. You don't want to force yourself to be attracted to someone. That's just stupid.

The dating world, it's a mess. Particularly if you aren't very skilled in the art of "boys." For me, at least, it's so much easier to spend time and flirt with a guy who likes another girl or has a girlfriend, because there's no pressure since he's emotionally taken. This is a big problem. One day, I hope to develop my dating talents, but I have to wait a couple more months. There will be no boys when I go home, but next year all my freshman friends are gone, and I will be with returned missionaries, who are usually cuter anyways. Sophomore year, here I come!

Whether or not I ever get a boyfriend or husband, I am, truthfully, forever and always,
Your Single Lady <3

Hogwarts vs. BYU

I started reading the Harry Potter books when I was seven. That means I had four years of hoping and hoping that my Hogwarts letter would come. Alas, it never did (except when my amazing friend Lindsay showed up at my house with a Hogwarts letter-invitation to her Harry Potter party before the Part 2 Premiere). I kept waiting, thinking that maybe the American version of Hogwarts was a high school, and I'd go when I was 14, or a college, and a letter would come when I was 18, but eventually senior year was drawing to a close and I had to face the reality that there was no letter coming. Disappointed, I had to apply to go to a real Muggle college, and I figured BYU was a close enough choice. Harry Potter is kind of a big deal here. Look:

Wish I could have gone.

Anyway, I got to BYU, and I learned that no matter how many games of Quidditch were played, how many Deathly Hallows symbols were drawn on windows, how many Harry Potter stickers and posters were put up in my room:

(compliments of my AMAZING friends Lindsay and Hillary)

BYU is not Hogwarts.

However, this year got me thinking. Would I even enjoy going to Hogwarts? I hate feeling restricted and trapped here on campus. If I went to Hogwarts, I would never leave the castle and grounds (except for rare visits to Hogsmeade.) You're ridiculously trapped. There are no movies, no TV, not even any sports except for Quidditch. Would I be bored to tears in Hogwarts? Would I count down the days until I get home? Am I actually better off going to Muggle university? Let's think about it:

Why BYU is better than Hogwarts
-More boys.
-It gets warm here (I bet Utah winters have nothing on Scottish winters).
-You have to eat at certain times during the day at Hogwarts, and if you want snacks you have to steal them from the kitchen
-I would probably hate British food. It actually sounds quite disgusting, if you think about it--steak-and-kidney pie, Yorkshire pudding, "tureens of buttered peas." There are no burritos, spaghetti, or shawarmas (all things you could get at BYU). Plus, like Fleur says, "Zis Breetish food, eet eez too heavy! I will not be able to fit into my dress robes!" I would probably get fat.
-They get LOADS of homework. Have you ever stopped to think about how many essays they have to write?????????
-School starts Sept. 1, and goes 'til June 30th. They get two months of summer. We get four.
-I can leave and go places other than school. At Hogwarts, it's all school all the time. There is no escape.
-How would I bring all the things I need for the year in one trunk on a train?
-You can die. It's really not a safe place for children.

It's not so great, is it? I mean, even with all the magic, it's still a boarding school. In Scotland. Where you learn magic. And spend all your time with your best friends. Hanging out by the lake that houses a giant squid...Maybe we should look at the pros:

Why Hogwarts is better than BYU
-The classes may be harder, but they're more interesting. You're doing magic, for Pete's sake!
-Again, MAGIC!!!!!!
-You never have to think about cooking, or where your next meal is coming from, or having enough money for food. I'm sure there would be a lot of food I liked.
-FLYING BROOMSTICKS!!!!!
-Animals. Lots and lots of animals. I would actually get to have a cat at school. Which would make everything better. And I would totes take Care of Magical Creatures.
-Do you think I could sneak in a cat AND an owl AND a toad? I bet I could do it.
-Wizard history is way more interesting than Muggle history, even if the class itself is boring. I mean, I like history already.
-You get to be with your friends all the time!
-I wouldn't be living in a crappy apartment building. I'd be in a CASTLE. Um, a castle. Hello.
-With big glowing fires. Who cares if I get fat from roasted marshmallows?
-So many places to explore! It's a CASTLE!!!!! I would totally find all the secret passageways.
-Your parents can't ride you about getting a job during school.
-You're finished with school by 18, a qualified wizard at 17. None of this college business (although there is occasionally extra training for some professions, like Auror.)
-Have I mentioned magic yet? And cats. I love cats.
-I bet you're allowed to climb the trees at Hogwarts. Stupid BYU rules.
-I'd probably really enjoy the library. And since I wouldn't be distracted by awful TV, I would have time to read!
-Free from the clutches of technology. That sounds nice.
-They have a huge lake. With a giant squid in it. Have you ever stopped to think how random that is? The books didn't even make a big deal of it. My whole life I just thought "Of course they have a giant squid in the lake. Why wouldn't they?" But it's really, really weird! And cool.
-Ghosts are fun.
-I could do magic! I wouldn't have to be afraid of Muggle axe murderers and rapists because if they tried to attack me I could jinx them! Magic is so cool.
-No cleaning checks. House-elves clean for you!
-They have storms in Scotland. Provo weather is boring and annoying.
-CATS AND OWLS!!!!!!!! And Trevor the toad.
-You don't have the ridiculously perfect and talented people you have here. I might actually stand out, because I'm not stupid! You don't need much math or science with magic. My memorization and writing skills will actually be valuable.
-If I was a little bit older, I would have gone to school with Harry freakin' Potter! And Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, FRED AND GEORGE, Ginny, Dean and Seamus, Lavender and Parvati (they really are quite brave. Lavender got chewed on by Greyback), and the other students who were my fictional friends in childhood.
-Magic magic MAGIC!!!!!!! I freaking love magic!!!!!!!!!!! I think Accio and Reparo are the most useful spells ever invented. I would also use Muffliato frequently. And probably Wingardium Leviosa or the Locomotor spells.
-I could help stop evil and save the world from the forces of darkness. I could probably do that in real life, but in real life it's harder to tell who is the enemy. Oh, now I'm feeling all philosophical. Maybe I need to write something about how Harry Potter applies to our life, and how our villains are less tangible, but still as evil. He had to fight against prejudice, greed, and cruelty. So do we. Both worlds are full of hatred and selfishness, and only love and sacrifice can overcome evil and sin. Are there people out there who STILL think that Harry Potter is dark and satanic? It's the best book series ever, so get off your high horse and realize the awesomeness. And watch this video. It's incredible.

-Oh, and I'd get to have a cat. At school.

I want to go to Hogwarts.

"I gotta get back to Hogwarts. I gotta get back to school. I gotta get myself to Hogwarts, where everything is magi-cool! Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts.
I think I'm going back."

21 days until I see my baby kitties again! I am going through serious animal withdrawals. I need to hug something fluffy.
Also, sorry for all the Harry Potter-themed blog posts. The next one will be about boys, I promise.
My last piece of advice: CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Stand up to the Death Eaters and dementors of today.
Emily <3