Hogwarts vs. BYU

I started reading the Harry Potter books when I was seven. That means I had four years of hoping and hoping that my Hogwarts letter would come. Alas, it never did (except when my amazing friend Lindsay showed up at my house with a Hogwarts letter-invitation to her Harry Potter party before the Part 2 Premiere). I kept waiting, thinking that maybe the American version of Hogwarts was a high school, and I'd go when I was 14, or a college, and a letter would come when I was 18, but eventually senior year was drawing to a close and I had to face the reality that there was no letter coming. Disappointed, I had to apply to go to a real Muggle college, and I figured BYU was a close enough choice. Harry Potter is kind of a big deal here. Look:

Wish I could have gone.

Anyway, I got to BYU, and I learned that no matter how many games of Quidditch were played, how many Deathly Hallows symbols were drawn on windows, how many Harry Potter stickers and posters were put up in my room:

(compliments of my AMAZING friends Lindsay and Hillary)

BYU is not Hogwarts.

However, this year got me thinking. Would I even enjoy going to Hogwarts? I hate feeling restricted and trapped here on campus. If I went to Hogwarts, I would never leave the castle and grounds (except for rare visits to Hogsmeade.) You're ridiculously trapped. There are no movies, no TV, not even any sports except for Quidditch. Would I be bored to tears in Hogwarts? Would I count down the days until I get home? Am I actually better off going to Muggle university? Let's think about it:

Why BYU is better than Hogwarts
-More boys.
-It gets warm here (I bet Utah winters have nothing on Scottish winters).
-You have to eat at certain times during the day at Hogwarts, and if you want snacks you have to steal them from the kitchen
-I would probably hate British food. It actually sounds quite disgusting, if you think about it--steak-and-kidney pie, Yorkshire pudding, "tureens of buttered peas." There are no burritos, spaghetti, or shawarmas (all things you could get at BYU). Plus, like Fleur says, "Zis Breetish food, eet eez too heavy! I will not be able to fit into my dress robes!" I would probably get fat.
-They get LOADS of homework. Have you ever stopped to think about how many essays they have to write?????????
-School starts Sept. 1, and goes 'til June 30th. They get two months of summer. We get four.
-I can leave and go places other than school. At Hogwarts, it's all school all the time. There is no escape.
-How would I bring all the things I need for the year in one trunk on a train?
-You can die. It's really not a safe place for children.

It's not so great, is it? I mean, even with all the magic, it's still a boarding school. In Scotland. Where you learn magic. And spend all your time with your best friends. Hanging out by the lake that houses a giant squid...Maybe we should look at the pros:

Why Hogwarts is better than BYU
-The classes may be harder, but they're more interesting. You're doing magic, for Pete's sake!
-Again, MAGIC!!!!!!
-You never have to think about cooking, or where your next meal is coming from, or having enough money for food. I'm sure there would be a lot of food I liked.
-FLYING BROOMSTICKS!!!!!
-Animals. Lots and lots of animals. I would actually get to have a cat at school. Which would make everything better. And I would totes take Care of Magical Creatures.
-Do you think I could sneak in a cat AND an owl AND a toad? I bet I could do it.
-Wizard history is way more interesting than Muggle history, even if the class itself is boring. I mean, I like history already.
-You get to be with your friends all the time!
-I wouldn't be living in a crappy apartment building. I'd be in a CASTLE. Um, a castle. Hello.
-With big glowing fires. Who cares if I get fat from roasted marshmallows?
-So many places to explore! It's a CASTLE!!!!! I would totally find all the secret passageways.
-Your parents can't ride you about getting a job during school.
-You're finished with school by 18, a qualified wizard at 17. None of this college business (although there is occasionally extra training for some professions, like Auror.)
-Have I mentioned magic yet? And cats. I love cats.
-I bet you're allowed to climb the trees at Hogwarts. Stupid BYU rules.
-I'd probably really enjoy the library. And since I wouldn't be distracted by awful TV, I would have time to read!
-Free from the clutches of technology. That sounds nice.
-They have a huge lake. With a giant squid in it. Have you ever stopped to think how random that is? The books didn't even make a big deal of it. My whole life I just thought "Of course they have a giant squid in the lake. Why wouldn't they?" But it's really, really weird! And cool.
-Ghosts are fun.
-I could do magic! I wouldn't have to be afraid of Muggle axe murderers and rapists because if they tried to attack me I could jinx them! Magic is so cool.
-No cleaning checks. House-elves clean for you!
-They have storms in Scotland. Provo weather is boring and annoying.
-CATS AND OWLS!!!!!!!! And Trevor the toad.
-You don't have the ridiculously perfect and talented people you have here. I might actually stand out, because I'm not stupid! You don't need much math or science with magic. My memorization and writing skills will actually be valuable.
-If I was a little bit older, I would have gone to school with Harry freakin' Potter! And Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, FRED AND GEORGE, Ginny, Dean and Seamus, Lavender and Parvati (they really are quite brave. Lavender got chewed on by Greyback), and the other students who were my fictional friends in childhood.
-Magic magic MAGIC!!!!!!! I freaking love magic!!!!!!!!!!! I think Accio and Reparo are the most useful spells ever invented. I would also use Muffliato frequently. And probably Wingardium Leviosa or the Locomotor spells.
-I could help stop evil and save the world from the forces of darkness. I could probably do that in real life, but in real life it's harder to tell who is the enemy. Oh, now I'm feeling all philosophical. Maybe I need to write something about how Harry Potter applies to our life, and how our villains are less tangible, but still as evil. He had to fight against prejudice, greed, and cruelty. So do we. Both worlds are full of hatred and selfishness, and only love and sacrifice can overcome evil and sin. Are there people out there who STILL think that Harry Potter is dark and satanic? It's the best book series ever, so get off your high horse and realize the awesomeness. And watch this video. It's incredible.

-Oh, and I'd get to have a cat. At school.

I want to go to Hogwarts.

"I gotta get back to Hogwarts. I gotta get back to school. I gotta get myself to Hogwarts, where everything is magi-cool! Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts.
I think I'm going back."

21 days until I see my baby kitties again! I am going through serious animal withdrawals. I need to hug something fluffy.
Also, sorry for all the Harry Potter-themed blog posts. The next one will be about boys, I promise.
My last piece of advice: CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Stand up to the Death Eaters and dementors of today.
Emily <3